MERRY CHRISTMAS

At t-minus 3 days and counting, here is my Christmas wish to all:
I wish you peace, joy, and prosperity (heavy on the "peace"). May your holiday be filled with family and friends. And, I hope everyone has a safe, memorable Christmas.

Now, for my Christmas story:
My sister-in-law and her ex-husband #3/current live-in had a tremendous fight a week or so ago, and he ran her off. Actually he had someone drop her off at a motel in Dallas, without her car and penniless. When she came to her senses, she called home and sobbed and cried that she wanted to come home. Her parents told her it just wouldn't work out, because they have to consider the impact on her 13-year-old son, of whom they have custody; and she has not made any effort in the last three years to get clean, get a job, and get her life together. So, a day or two later, they get a call from the Jasper police. She has been arrested for being drunk/disorderly and disturbing the peace, but has been so incoherent ever since that they took her to the hospital. She had no booze in her system, but did have meth and lots of xanax. She sobered up, the police dropped the charges, and she walked.

Two days later....(Dec.23)
She comes here to visit with her son and give him his Christmas presents. She is so blitzed that she can't keep her eyes open. She falls asleep in a rocking chair and wakes up awhile later in a blind rage...accusing her parents of stealing her money while she was asleep, screaming at her son and her brother (my husband), and generally making a total a** of herself...and then she left. She left a full bottle of (her ex's) xanax on the table, so she'll be back. Joy, joy.

Other than that litttle "hiccup", we are trying very hard to have a peaceful, relaxing Christmas. My father-in-law was diagnosed with prostate cancer a couple of weeks ago, so he's pretty bummed. He is scheduled for surgery Jan. 11, and we are hopeful that it was caught early enough that it hasn't spread.

Still, we are trying to make the best of the season. My daughter and husband are home until mid-January, which is nice. Most of the shopping is done. We will be going to Porter, N. of Houston, after Christmas to stay with my dad and brother through the New Year's holiday.

So, I'll catch you on the flip side!

Arrivederci!

Grow Your Own

This is worth a look-see. It's how to grow your own Christmas tree in less than 30 seconds.

http://setxbayou.blogspot.com/2007/12/daybreaker-video-grow-your-own.html

If I were really up on blogger technology, I'd know how to make it play here. But alas, I am only able to provide you with a link to the blog where you can view this amazing Zen demonstration.

Enjoy!

Tasting Blood

I think I have bitten my tongue so hard, and so many times lately, that I'm pretty sure I'm tasting blood.

My nephew is driving me absolutely bonkers, with his 13-year-old attitude. You know, the talking back, the sarcasm, the blatant defiance. Aaauuuggghhhh! I am trapped in the Twilight Zone with an adolescent monster! (And he isn't even talking to ME, he's talking to his grandmother--my mother-in-law! With whom I am still living, you remember.) If he were mine, I would have already backhanded him into another dimension.

Will I survive the next year or so, while hubby finishes college??? At times, I wonder.

Ciao.

Rest In Peace, Riley (Baby Grace)

http://www.khou.com/topstories/stories/khou071126_jj_babygraceidmonday.3f632b4a.html

Thank God the monsters who are responsible for murdering this innocent and defenseless child are behind bars. May they never see the light of day again.

This horrific and unthinkable crime has ripped my heart into tiny shreds. I don't think they deserve to have their guilt or innocence debated in a court of law. They have admitted to committing this atrocity--let's save taxpayer money and avoid lengthy trials and appeals by going straight to the penalty phase. And let's save the taxpayers the expense of medically-supervised lethal injections--2 well placed bullets would get the job done much quicker.

And finally let's bury their cold, lifeless bodies in plastic storage bins. Maybe in a nice warm landfill, somewhere.

Now, I feel much better. Don't you?

Arrivederci.

Winding Down

The Thanksgiving 2007 holiday is winding down. It started out on a rather tense note: My daughter was driving home from college in Baton Rouge, using an alternate route since Interstate 10 has been closed for over a week due to a natural gas well explosion. Holiday traffic on the designated detour was the hellish to begin with; but to complicate matters, the weather report predicted 60 mph winds and quarter sized hail! Then, about an hour and a half before she got home, she called to say her boyfriend's flight had been cancelled (he was on his way home to Wisconsin!), and that she might go BACK to Baton Rouge and get him.

I almost fainted.

She made it home safely. What would normally have been a three-hour trip took almost 5 hours.
And her boyfriend had to go back to the dorm, but was able to get a flight the next morning.

Speaking of which...this is a boyfriend I actually have MET and of whom I APPROVE! He didn't come from the internet or a singles' "matchmaking" website; he is a fellow student that my daughter has had a friendship with for a couple of years. Whew! I can't tell you what a roller-coaster her first couple of college years were...she almost made some tragic mistakes. I had to threaten to cut her off financially at one point, and insist that she move to a school closer to home if she couldn't get her act together. She pulled it off and now seems happy, independent, fiscally responsible (mostly) and committed to finishing her education.

And my husband is struggling right now, but not because of his academic load. His finances haven't worked out the way he had hoped, but maybe things will come together in the next couple of weeks. The financial stress is making the academics harder than it should be, but I guess dealing with stress is just going to be a way of life...

And I am still working at two jobs and living with my in-laws. Not much I can say about that. I'd love to have only one job and my own place, but it isn't in the cards right now. My husband's sister is still not trying real hard to get her son back (like by getting a job and establishing a stable home), but she at least has been seeing him occasionally and talking to him on the phone pretty often. I really can't figure her out. Her alcoholism/drug addiction appears to be under some control right now, why doesn't she go the next step?

So, as the holiday winds down, I still feel content and at peace. I am thankful for all that has actually gone right this year, or at least wasn't as bad as it could have been (i. e., the wreck that my daughter was involved in). I will try to go back to both my jobs on Monday rested and with a good attitude. How's that?

Ciao.

ZIPskinny - Get the Skinny on that ZIP (demographics by ZIP Code)

Have you ever wondered what the average income is in your locale? Where the jobs are? Have you ever wondered what percentage of people in your area are single/married/divorced? Or how many of them have college degrees?

This is such a cool thing! You have try it.

ZIPskinny - Get the Skinny on that ZIP (demographics by ZIP Code)

Giving Thanks: The Update

Well, sister-in-law showed up today, pretty much when she said she would, to celebrate her and her son's birthday! I was mildly stunned. She stayed about two conflict-free hours and promised to come back on Thanksgiving.

Another thing to give thanks for! Wonders never cease. Nephew turned 13, today. He's had so much sorrow and conflict in his young life. Even more than my daughter, who grew up with drug-addicted parents, but never had to endure the shame and trauma of being removed from her parents' home. (Because, even caught in the throes of active addiction, she always came first. Always. And I feel awfully proud of the job we did raising her and of the person she became. Some things we did right.)

He really deserved to have the kind of birthday he had today.

Ciao.

Giving Thanks

Random thoughts. . .

Today, I shall endeavour (I love British spellings) to break the shackles of apathy with which I have been bound, of late. Thanksgiving is but a few days away, so I will try to appreciate those things I have been given by the Almighty God.

Those of you who know me, know I don't attend church on a regular basis--or at all, really--but I have a deep and abiding faith in God and know in my heart that I have a personal relationship with Him. I give Him all the credit for what I have and I trust Him to carry me through the storms. My favorite saying? If He leads you it, He will lead you THROUGH it!

As Thanksgiving 2007 approaches, I will try to focus on positive things going on in my life:
**My primary job is going well. I get along fabulously with my in-laws, with whom I am still living, until my husband finishes his degree. (Only about one year to go!)
**My husband appears to be doing okay in school, and not "messing up".
**My daughter, while overwhelmed by her duties as President of Sigma Tau Delta at times, is also doing well in college. Her car seems to be doing just fine, too.
**My family is healthy, I haven't even had a cold, yet, this year!
**My dad and brother, who live in Houston, are doing well, however, my brother is working too hard. (He works for a major retailer, in receiving, so it's a seasonal thing.)
**My car, although quite elderly, seems to holding together.

There are a few negative things going on in my life, but I won't think about those today. Today is my nephew's 13th birthday, and also his mother's (my sister-in-law) birthday. She hasn't called him, yet.

Well, I must finish unloading the dishwasher, take a shower, and start my laundry.

Arrivederci!

Is It a Birthday or an Anniversary?

I wish I had something controversial or thought-provoking to write about today, because today I have been a blogger for two years! (So, am I celebrating the birth of my blog or my anniversary as a blogger??) I spent a little time reviewing the postings I published over the last couple of years with mixed emotions. There were some very bad memories conjured up, some good times re-lived, some political statements--not all of them politically correct, and lots of whining. I have enjoyed being able to "get it all out" so to speak, and not worry about what anyone close to me might say or think.

Either way, I have absolutely nothing of significance to write about, today I had a positively relaxing weekend with my husband and daughter, both of whom came home from college this weekend! (I am still worried off and on about what hubby might be "up to", but he'll either make it or he won't, and then I will know what direction to take the rest of my life, right? Right at this moment, he seems to be doing really well.) My sister-in-law still doesn't "get it", and just keeps asking what she would have to do to get custody of her son again. She's back with her third ex-husband, again, although she insists she won't remarry him, this after having spent the last month or so with the second ex-husband. Here's a clue for her: GET A JOB! She's got to establish stability and prove that she can maintain her sobriety and a stable environment to get her son back. DUH!

I almost wish I felt strongly about O.J. Simpson's armed robbery trial, the political maneuvering of the potential presidential candidates, MRSA, or the crisis within the Pakistani government.

I think I am having an attack of apathy.....

New Information on Mad Cow Disease!

New Information on Mad Cow Disease from Newfoundland:

A female TV reporter arranged for an interview with a farmer living just outside Corner Brook, Newfoundland, to identify what the farmer believes to be the main cause of the Mad Cow Disease.

Reporter: "Good evening, sir. I am here to collect information on the possible source of Mad Cow Disease. Can you offer any reason for this disease?"

The Farmer stared at her intently and said: "Do you know that a bull mounts a cow only once a year?"

The lady reporter (obviously embarrassed): "Well, sir, that's a new piece of information, but what's the relation between this phenomenon and Mad Cow Disease?"

Farmer: "And, madam, do you know that we milk a cow twice a day?"

Reporter: "Sir, this may, indeed, be really valuable information, but what about getting to the point?"

Farmer: "I am getting to the point, madam. Just imagine, if I was playing with your tits twice a day and only screwing you once a year, wouldn't you get mad?"

(Apologies to anyone who may be offended by the raunchy humor...but, I'm feeling a bit raunchy just now.)

Arrivederci!

The Perfect Fairy Tale

This is the fairy tale that should have been taught to us as little girls instead of the mush and idealistic crap we were fed:

THE PERFECT FAIRY TALE
Once upon a time in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.

The frog hopped into the princess' lap and said, "Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am; and then my sweet, we can marry and set up housekeeping in your castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so."

That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on lightly sautéed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled and thought to herself, ‘I don't f**kin' think so.’

NATIONAL SECURITY

Well, this has been a week of sad truths. Our country is in deep trouble and it isn't from the economic impact of the war on Iraq, the terrorist threat from radical religious groups (note that I did NOT single out Muslims), or even the lack of action on illegal immigration. The biggest threat our country faces is...ourselves. That's right. The United States of America is under attack from within--from its own citizens.

Almost every day, now, there is a random shooting spree somewhere in the country. October 5, 2007: A man walked into a law office right here in Alexandria, LA, and shot five people, killing two. A couple days ago, it was in Ohio: A 14-year-old kid opened fire in a school, shooting four. We can't forget the deputy in Wisconsin, who recently shot several people then killed himself. And the massacre at Virginia Tech. The shooting at the Amish school. And Columbine.

So, how should we, as a nation, react when a 14-year-old is found to have a massive collection of assault rifles and explosive devices, some of which were purchased for him by his MOTHER???

Here's what they found:
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/12/us/12plot.html?ex=1349928000&en=1e86cb332aec46aa&ei=5124&partner=permalink&exprod=permalink

Here's where he got the stuff:
http://apnews.myway.com//article/20071012/D8S7O1OO0.html

Our only consolation is that the authorities showed a rare flash of actual backbone, and arrested the mother, as well.

So, do I believe gun control is the answer? ABSOLUTELY NOT! The answer is for us to rise up and demand that parents become parents again, and monitor everything their children do until such time as they are self-supporting adults. We are not our child's best friend--they don't even have to like us much! But they DO have to respect our wishes (Random thought insertion: think "NO saggy pants!") and we MUST expect them to live up to our expectations. This is the responsibility we assume when we become parents--a responsibility which is possibly the furthest thing from our minds during the act which creates a new life, but one which has lifelong ramifications individually and for society in general!

Addressing this problem literally "in childhood" will cure a host of ills affecting our country today, possibly preserving our nation in the process. It's a matter of national security!

Please take care.

FIND YOUR PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE!

Now you don't have to sort through candidates' view on issues, or try to figure out what they REALLY mean when they speak publicly. This nifty tool will take YOUR views and give you a candidate whose views closely align with your own. Very cool. Try it!

Arrivederci!

-- Take the Quiz! --

Updates and Other Stuff

Here are some random updates:

Well, I wish I could say definitively that my hubby is not using, again, but I can't. I also don't have any hard evidence or proof that he IS. What I can say without a doubt is that he isn't still abusing the credit card (which I reluctantly reinstated), because I can see all of the transactions online, of course. And I would certainly expect his grades to start slipping if he were using, which doesn't seem to have happened. So, I should give him the benefit of the doubt, right? Maybe I am just having a hard time letting go of the suspicious nature I developed as a result of living with an active addict. Time, however, will tell whether my suspicions were warranted...

I still need to find another (cheap) dependable used car for my daughter. She, you remember, had an accident in August which totaled her car. She is beginning to really pressure me, but I just cannot afford to co-sign a loan for her to purchase a nearly new vehicle. She doesn't have a sufficient, stable income from her part-time, on-campus job for me to be confident that she can swing the note every month. I would still have to borrow the downpayment and cover the insurance, and if I had to kick in the note as well--even occasionally--it would put me in a SERIOUS bind. Sigh. I wish I could afford to buy her whatever her heart desires...

Sister-in-law spent another 7 days or so in a hospital recently for seizures related to alcohol poisoning/methamphetamine withdrawal and alcohol-induced liver impairment. She isn't getting it. The doctors keep telling her, if she continues to drink--she will die. She hasn't worked in two years, and hasn't had custody of her son for a year-and-a-half. She goes through the motions of acting like the anguished mother, persecuted unfairly by having her only son removed from her care. She protests the loss of custody because she thinks she should, that it is expected of her.

Please. Truth be told, I don't think she cares. Parenthood cramped her (partying) style, anyway. She knows what it will take to get him back: Get sober, get a job, get a stable home environment for him. In that order.

Here's something neat:

A couple of summers ago, my dad stopped near a cotton field and picked up some of the cotton bolls that were laying near the road. He planted the seeds and sent me a couple of the mature cotton bolls. So, this summer, I planted some of the seeds from the cotton that he grew, and grew some of my own. These were the first of maybe 12-15 bolls I will harvest. I want to save enough of the cleaned fibers to stuff some throw pillows and maybe give my dad one for Christmas!

Enough for now.
Ciao.

Humberto, The Update

Welcome to Humberto!

These are the views from our back deck, facing into the backyard. The plants in the foreground are sitting on the deck railing.

Wow.

The log you see in the first photo is what's left of an oak tree that fell during Hurricane Rita.

Humberto

Wow. Go to bed knowing that it's going to be a rainy, miserable day going to work the next day due to a tropical storm...get a call the next morning from your supervisor saying not to report for work because of Hurricane Humberto! What a nice(?) surprise! (Having stayed around for Hurricane Rita, I know that this will be a "minor" hurricane, so I can say this.) Okay....

So, anyway, I really love LOVE stormy, rainy, days. I like them best if I can sit at home and enjoy them, though, so this is almost too good to be true. Is that weird?

No verdict yet on whether husband is screwing up or not. He calls in often enough, and doesn't sound messed up. But he's still put what I consider way too much on the credit card--some of it as cash advances.

I have decided to put it out of my mind, for now. I have to--for my own sanity. I have too much going on at work myself to be distracted and preoccupied with whether he is doing what he is supposed to or not. He will either pass or fail, and then I'll know and can take the appropriate action. Right?

I think I will go out on the deck and watch the storm, now. And then maybe I will take a nap...

Arrivederci!

Really Bummed

It seemed like a good idea at the time.... Famous last words. So, hubby thought he would be saving us money by moving into student housing, saving money on gas for the commute. Instead, I find that he is hard to get hold of by phone and he keeps putting crap on our (my) credit card. I can't see what exactly, but I can see when. And it's way too much, way too often. So I cancelled the card this afternoon.

I am not sure what he is up to, but my gut tells me he's up to NO GOOD. (Now, where would I get an idea like THAT???)

So, anyway, I'm really bummed.

But I do have good news! I was asked to fill in for someone at work who is going to have surgery. If I do well in this person's absence, then when this person retires in just a couple of years, I may be considered to fill their position. It would be a nice advancement with a substantial raise! The trick is going to be making sure all my own work stays somewhat caught up...

Ciao.

Crazy Train, Part II

Okay, so the crazy train has made a whistle stop. Things are (relatively) peaceful and calm right now. We are in a stable pattern of activity that should continue for the next couple weeks, at least. Hubby has moved into on-campus housing at college. His plans are to stay Monday-Thursday at school, then come home every weekend. Cost? $450/mo. housing versus $600/mo. gas expenses for the commute. And, he got a student loan to cover the actual housing costs, so I will only have to kick in a couple hundred for food, his share of electricity, etc.

What I HAD planned to do with the monthly savings was rent a very small apartment and move out of my in-laws place. What I actually WILL do in the wake of my daughter's auto accident is try to find another vehicle for her to use in Baton Rouge with payments that fit into my budget. Along with the insurance of course. Kinda looks like I will be with the in-laws awhile longer. Which is not so bad most of the time...

Sister-in-law (the alcoholic) has flaked out again. She left the drug-dealing ex-husband (#3), and hooked up with her first ex. He swears he still has feelings for her and took her in, of course, since she was basically homeless. He has had a recent drinking problem of his own, which resulted in a former employer asking for his resignation in lieu of having a dismissal in his personnel file. I don't see this living arrangement as being something with lasting potential.

There is a court date looming this week, 9/6/07. Nephew's father (sister-in-law's ex #2) has agreed to allow my in-laws to have full custody, with the understanding that he can pretty much have visitation whenever he wants. (He works in Mississippi, so I really don't expect there to be a problem with him taking his son for a day or two when he is home.) I don't even know if my sister-in-law has been served with the papers, since she is a virtual transient. So, she may not even show up! She calls her son every couple of days, assuring him that he won't be living at grandmother's house for very long. She is so in denial about what has happened. I don't really think she can even remember most of the last couple years--that's when her teaching contract was not renewed due to excess absences. She has been unemployed for that long. It's really very sad.

I am still working two jobs, loving one and hating the other. I have looked for another part-time job, but I am not willing to work a full shift in the afternoon once I leave my first job, so my options are limited. Plus, I would never be able to make this hourly rate of pay ($10/hr.) at any retail store or private daycare! (However, if the pay was right, I might work weekends.) So, I persevere, knowing that the blood, sweat, and tears will pay off once my husband has that degree in hand. I try hard not to dwell on how tired I am ALL THE TIME!

This too shall pass....

Ciao.

Riding the Crazy Train

"Crazy" doesn't even begin to describe my world of late...

Well, my daughter wrecked her car today. She wasn't hurt--but she could easily have been killed. She was on I10 leaving Lafayette to go back to Baton Rouge in a heavy downpour when her Firebird hydroplaned and she spun in front of an 18 wheeler. Luckily, it hit the rear passenger side of her car and not the driver's side, or the outcome would have been completely different. The car is, of course, a total loss. Damn. She's going to be on foot for awhile, because we only carried liability on that vehicle. I'm glad her new apartment is walking distance from campus! She can learn to use public transportation for awhile now, I guess.

The explosion I've been expecting finally happened Friday night. This week, my sister-in law--who you will recall is an alcoholic--and her pill-and-meth-dealing-live-in-ex-husband finally packed up their stuff and moved their travel trailer to a mobile home park. Then, Friday evening, they came to get her son, supposedly so he could spend the weekend with them. (In a tiny travel trailer parked at a mobile home park!) My in-laws said absolutely not, and so Friday night we had three City Police officers here, explaining why we had to let my nephew go with his mother, even though technically his dad (who is working in Mississippi) still has custody and didn't want she and her aforementioned ex to leave with him. Well, he wasn't here, he was visiting his other grandparents. So, off they all went. He flatly refused to go with his mom, and told the cops that if they made him go he would run away the first chance he got. So the police persuaded my sister-in-law to let him have Friday night with his (other) grandparents, and they could pick him up Saturday morning.

Long story short...a late-night visit to an attorney, and some early Saturday morning maneuvering by the judge resulted in my in-laws now having immediate temporary custody. Sister-in-law was quite furious and wants to come get all her stuff, but the attorney advised us to have her wait until Monday morning and then be accompanied by a police officer *just in case*. Whew! Helluva weekend. But at least the pressure is coming down now. I was beginning to have some real intense anxiety about how their f***ed-up lifestyle (pardon my language) was going to affect hubby's recovery and sobriety. He was stressed, and I could tell, which made my stress even stressier. If this hadn't all gone down, I think he would have been very close to using again.

I was off all last week, though! We all went to Houston to visit my dad and brother, and on the last night there we got to see Rush in concert. It was great.

So, anyway, it's never a dull moment in my dysfunctional world. But I have to go back to work Monday--bummer. Maybe the little men in white coats will come for me first...

Arrivederci!

When Your Worst Nightmare Comes True...

So, what do you do when your WORST NIGHTMARE comes true? Suggestions are welcome!

I knew this was a possibility, I wrote about it months ago. My sister-in-law, her nephew, and her ex-husband have come to live with us. Remember now, I live with my husband's parents. There are now 7 people in the house and, when my daughter comes home, eight. It's a three-bedroom house. "Crowded" doesn't even begin to describe the situation. She is still unemployed, and seems content that way, but at least she seems relatively sober. Her (disabled) ex-husband stays fairly strung out on painkillers, but he did have a catastrophic accident a few years ago that may still result in his losing a leg. I suspect that they also dabble a bit in methamphetamine--I have done that and more in the past, and can pretty well identify the signs.

I hope (and PRAY) that their being here doesn't derail my husband's recovery and his goals of getting his college education. I know he suspects that they are using, and as a recovering addict, that has GOT to be one of the hardest things ever to endure.

God help us all. Please pray for us...
Arrivederci

Not Abandoned, Just Neglected

Nope, I haven't abandoned my blog, just neglected it. No posts in May, and I will be quite honest--there probably won't be more than just this one in June!

Short catch-up: My husband--clean and sober now for almost 2 years!--is still in college, full-time and will complete his Associate degree in Clinical Laboratory Technology in May 2008, we are still living with my in-laws (more on that later, maybe), and I am still working both jobs. My daughter is still in college, 2 years down and 2 to go. She has changed her major 4 times, settling finally on an English major with a Spanish minor.

Now, here is the new stuff: My husband finished his Phlebotomy certification in May, and my sister-in-law is renting an apartment (one of those by the week or month deals) in Texas and has taken my nephew there for the summer. She seems sober, but she still doesn't have a lead on a job for when schools starts this fall.

Not very exciting, but life can't always be an adventure, can it? At least the stress level has gone WAY down, and things are more settled. Of course that's subject to change....

Ciao!

Arkansas Vacation Photos!

These are some of the awesome formations in Blanchard Springs Cavern State Park, near Mountain View,
Arkansas
















And this is the spring that created the underground cavern, as it exits the mountain....

When we left this area in N. Central Arkansas, we travelled to Devil's Den State Park in the NW corner of Arkansas, in the Ozark mountains, just south of Fayetteville. Words can't describe the absolute beauty--enjoy the photos!

The Bigger Picture

It's easy to become so mired in day-to-day drama, that when something horrific happens--namely the shootings that occurred on the Virginia Tech campus--it sets us one outside oneself so suddenly that the result is whiplash. It really makes one take a hard look at the bigger picture, doesn't it?? What's REALLY important in life? A tragedy of that magnitude makes everything else seem so trivial by comparison. How incredibly sad. Suddenly, all I can think of is: What if that had been LSU main campus and my daughter had been killed? The VA Tech Campus is just about the same size as LSU. The thought makes my stomach clench.

My prayers are with those who lost loved ones. May God bless and comfort the families, granting them his peace that passes all understanding.

Here's a quick update on the other trivialities of my life:
The first week of April was Spring break for husband and daughter; and they talked me into taking some time off from both jobs AND the notary public class I am taking, so that we could go to NW Arkansasfor a vacation. (Devil's Den State Park, I highly recommend it. Been there many times. Camping and cabins available, reserve cabins early.) It was great. (OK, maybe I needed the time away more than I would like to admit.) We hiked, explored some caves, and took literally hundreds of pictures. The dogwoods were blooming, but the surrounding trees hadn't yet leafed out, and the sun illuminated the dogwood, making them positively LUMINOUS. I can't even begin to describe it. The weather was fantastic, daytime temps in the 60's, nightimes maybe in the 40's. I want very much to post some photos--maybe I will have time this weekend.

Daughter had to go back to Baton Rouge on Easter Sunday, but we got to have a really nice Easter dinner. Husband's grandmother was with us from the nursing home and several family members we hadn't seen in months dropped by to visit.

The day after Easter, my sister-in-law "moved in". I set that apart for a reason. She "moved in" all her stuff and rearranged a room I had kind of unofficially appropriated as my own, but she comes and goes. It almost infuriates me, but then I think about how pathetic she's become and the most I can muster is some half-hearted resentment. She came supposedly to recuperate from a fall (?) that resulted in a torn calf muscle and terrible swelling of one foot. But she stays a day or two, and leaves a day or two, and then she's back. She's never asked to give account of where she goes or what she does. Her parents (with whom we ALL live, now) are hoping she will be able to get her life back together soon, and get another teaching job nearby, perhaps just across the border in TX.

She seems sober, now, except for pain medication for the leg injury. Progress, perhaps? (Cautious optimism.)

I worry a little about my hubby, at this point. He has said that it is hard for him, knowing that she has full bottles of the very drug to which he was so horribly addicted. I encouraged him to take in a few NA meetings. He has said he would consider it. Maybe just speaking it will give him the inner strength he needs to maintain his sobriety--almost 2 years now!

"Illegal Alien"

So-o-o-o-o, Bill "No Spin" O'Reilly has been labeled a racist. He used the term "Illegal Alien" to describe a person who had entered this country without proper paperwork. The critic who identified O'Reilly as a racist insisted that his terminology should have been "Undocumented Immigrant".

This typifies what's wrong with this country. We are terrified that some comment will offend some group or other. So we try to candy-coat the unpleasant and distasteful, to make it easier to swallow.

I like the term "Illegal Alien". I don't want America to close its border with Mexico and Canada, but I want the people who enter this country to do so legally, by following the procedures for applying for a visa and by pursuing citizenship should they decide to stay.

I hope the "Undocumented Immigrants" are so incredibly offended that they go home. And they could apply to enter this country legally -- and be welcome here when they do.

Arrivederci

Shame on Me!

All that ranting about the nephew -- and he wasn't even here at ALL this weekend. Seems he came in the middle of last week BECAUSE he was going to go to Mississippi to visit his dad over the weekend. So, now I feel kinda bad about the ranting I did. But in reality, I desperately needed the peace and quiet. So, while I feel a *little* guilty, my utter relief at having a weekend without teeth-grinding and tongue-biting far outweighs any negative feelings I may harbour. Have a terrific week, now. Ciao!

Bad Attitutde (The Frustration Factor)

Where do I start? Living with my in-laws and holding a full-time AND a part-time job so that my husband--sober now almost 2 years--can attend college full-time (looking at a Spring '08 grad date, now, HOORAY), is stressful beyond what I can possibly tell you in this venue. But it gets better! My hubby's sister is an alcoholic who lost custody of her son last fall. So, my 12-year-old nephew was placed in custody of his dad. Dad is a construction worker who travels up and down the Gulf Coast, and he's gone much of the time, so stepmom is basically raising nephew right now.

Anyway, in the beginning, he spent most weekends here--in this house, with my in-laws and my husband and me. Which was okay, it ratcheted up the noise level (and the stress level!) considerably, but he IS 12, and it was only for two nights--right? Friday and Saturday, then he went home on Sunday. Then, it crept up somehow to Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. Every week. *SIGH*

Last night, Wednesday night, at 8:30 (!) his stepmom called and told my mother-in-law that her daughter was spending the night at a friend's house and nephew was begging to come over here. So, now, it's Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. Did I mention he takes medication for ADHD???

Sure, it's just for this week. (YEAH, RIGHT!) And I do kinda feel sorry for the kid, his mom's a flaked-out alcoholic with co-dependency issues and his dad is off working most of the time...

But, with all the other pressure, tension, and stress in my life, if THIS becomes the norm, I may have a stress-related psychotic episode.

Yeah, my attitude's bad--What about it????

Crazy Busy, But Content

The way I see it, if I get to post once each month, I'm doing alright. It's been SO-O-O crazy busy, at work and at home, that I literally collapse into bed every night at 9 p.m. and get up moving at full speed every morning at 5 a.m.

But things are running so smoothly now. This all just feels right.

Oh, I'm still working two jobs and still living with my in-laws while my husband attends college full-time, but he is getting close to having a certification in Phlebotomy (part of his Clinical Laboratory Technician program) that will allow him to work part-time doing the blood draws ordered by physicians. When he finishes that at the end of May, he will try to get a weekend or evening position and I plan on turning in my notice at my part-time job during the early part of the summer.

Won't that be so fine??

We will continue to live with his parents until he actually gets his Associate degree next year, and then we will try to look for our own place or maybe look into getting a mobile home to put on our 4 acres.

Daughter is doing well in college, and made the Dean's List last semester! Hooray!

Sister-in-law appears to have stopped drinking and seems to realize that she must get a job and prove that she can provide stability if she is ever going to have custody of her son, again. So far, it's all been talk. Note the emphasis on appears and seems. We shall see....

So, life goes on at its crazy, breakneck pace, but I feel at peace with things right now.

Arrivederci!

The Passage of Time

Here it is the beginning of the second week of February. Where the hell did January go? I can't believe how fast time is passing. I was told (warned?) that the older I got, the faster it would seem time passed; but gosh, they didn't tell me that by the time I hit 45 I would be traveling at warp speed!

But while time seems to be rolling by at a positively alarming speed, I feel very much like I am treading water. It seems like I have been treading water for YEARS--I am so utterly exhausted all the time. This month marks a whole year that I have kept up with two jobs. I am tired, just so tired. But I have to do this for my husband to continue to attend college, so that when he finishes, we can finally move out of his parents' home and ino one of our own again. It WILL be worth it.

I really must try to swim over to the shore and rest some, in the future. And update this silly blog more often. And, didn't someone once observe that "time flies when you're having fun"? Maybe that's really what is happening. I'm just having so much fun, that more time is going by than I realize!

Yeah, right.

HAPPY (BELATED) NEW YEAR!

Happy 2007!

Okay, I'm a couple weeks late. "Resolutions?", you ask. And my first impulse is to ask why anyone should make new year's resolutions?! But then, that thought strikes me as rather cynical, so I decide that resolutions are not really such a bad thing. It's all about reflecting on the year past, admitting what could have been done differently, and setting new (achievable) goals for the coming year.

So, with that thought in mind, here are my resolutions:
1. Practice patience. I am not a patient person, by nature. I am a demanding perfectionist. My husband calls me a "Type A" and tells me I am going to have a heart attack if I don't learn to relax.

2. Forgive. This one's going to be tough, because so much of my adult life has been spent regretting bad decisions that I now feel angry, bitter, and resentful a lot of the time. I have to get past all of that to move forward, don't I? ("Forgetting"--as in forgive and forget-- is not included at this time. Someone once said "History forgotten is history repeated". Not going to go there, I'm just not, but I can forgive.)

3. Be myself. I have spent a lot of my 45 years being who other people needed or expected me to be. I have to be honest with others and myself about who I am.

4. Stay clean and sober! And support my husband in that, as well. We have made some amazing strides this year and only by staying sober can we maintain the momentum!

You will note that I have absolutely no goals to "lose weight" or "get in shape". Yes, I am overweight; and, yes, I need to exercise. But I'm HAPPY right now, in spite of having two jobs and still living with my in-laws, and I think I would be adding to my stress load to add lofty self-improvement goals to my list.

Happy New Year to All.

Arrivederci!