Sunday, October 28, 2007

New Information on Mad Cow Disease!

New Information on Mad Cow Disease from Newfoundland:

A female TV reporter arranged for an interview with a farmer living just outside Corner Brook, Newfoundland, to identify what the farmer believes to be the main cause of the Mad Cow Disease.

Reporter: "Good evening, sir. I am here to collect information on the possible source of Mad Cow Disease. Can you offer any reason for this disease?"

The Farmer stared at her intently and said: "Do you know that a bull mounts a cow only once a year?"

The lady reporter (obviously embarrassed): "Well, sir, that's a new piece of information, but what's the relation between this phenomenon and Mad Cow Disease?"

Farmer: "And, madam, do you know that we milk a cow twice a day?"

Reporter: "Sir, this may, indeed, be really valuable information, but what about getting to the point?"

Farmer: "I am getting to the point, madam. Just imagine, if I was playing with your tits twice a day and only screwing you once a year, wouldn't you get mad?"

(Apologies to anyone who may be offended by the raunchy humor...but, I'm feeling a bit raunchy just now.)

Arrivederci!

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

The Perfect Fairy Tale

This is the fairy tale that should have been taught to us as little girls instead of the mush and idealistic crap we were fed:

THE PERFECT FAIRY TALE
Once upon a time in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.

The frog hopped into the princess' lap and said, "Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am; and then my sweet, we can marry and set up housekeeping in your castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so."

That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on lightly sautéed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled and thought to herself, ‘I don't f**kin' think so.’

Friday, October 12, 2007

NATIONAL SECURITY

Well, this has been a week of sad truths. Our country is in deep trouble and it isn't from the economic impact of the war on Iraq, the terrorist threat from radical religious groups (note that I did NOT single out Muslims), or even the lack of action on illegal immigration. The biggest threat our country faces is...ourselves. That's right. The United States of America is under attack from within--from its own citizens.

Almost every day, now, there is a random shooting spree somewhere in the country. October 5, 2007: A man walked into a law office right here in Alexandria, LA, and shot five people, killing two. A couple days ago, it was in Ohio: A 14-year-old kid opened fire in a school, shooting four. We can't forget the deputy in Wisconsin, who recently shot several people then killed himself. And the massacre at Virginia Tech. The shooting at the Amish school. And Columbine.

So, how should we, as a nation, react when a 14-year-old is found to have a massive collection of assault rifles and explosive devices, some of which were purchased for him by his MOTHER???

Here's what they found:
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/12/us/12plot.html?ex=1349928000&en=1e86cb332aec46aa&ei=5124&partner=permalink&exprod=permalink

Here's where he got the stuff:
http://apnews.myway.com//article/20071012/D8S7O1OO0.html

Our only consolation is that the authorities showed a rare flash of actual backbone, and arrested the mother, as well.

So, do I believe gun control is the answer? ABSOLUTELY NOT! The answer is for us to rise up and demand that parents become parents again, and monitor everything their children do until such time as they are self-supporting adults. We are not our child's best friend--they don't even have to like us much! But they DO have to respect our wishes (Random thought insertion: think "NO saggy pants!") and we MUST expect them to live up to our expectations. This is the responsibility we assume when we become parents--a responsibility which is possibly the furthest thing from our minds during the act which creates a new life, but one which has lifelong ramifications individually and for society in general!

Addressing this problem literally "in childhood" will cure a host of ills affecting our country today, possibly preserving our nation in the process. It's a matter of national security!

Please take care.

Monday, October 08, 2007

FIND YOUR PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE!

Now you don't have to sort through candidates' view on issues, or try to figure out what they REALLY mean when they speak publicly. This nifty tool will take YOUR views and give you a candidate whose views closely align with your own. Very cool. Try it!

Arrivederci!

-- Take the Quiz! --

Sunday, October 07, 2007

Updates and Other Stuff

Here are some random updates:

Well, I wish I could say definitively that my hubby is not using, again, but I can't.
I also don't have any hard evidence or proof that he IS. What I can say without a doubt is that he isn't still abusing the credit card (which I reluctantly reinstated), because I can see all of the transactions online, of course. And I would certainly expect his grades to start slipping if he were using, which doesn't seem to have happened. So, I should give him the benefit of the doubt, right? Maybe I am just having a hard time letting go of the suspicious nature I developed as a result of living with an active addict. Time, however, will tell whether my suspicions were warranted...

I still need to find another (cheap) dependable used car for my daughter. She, you remember, had an accident in August which totaled her car. She is beginning to really pressure me, but I just cannot afford to co-sign a loan for her to purchase a nearly new vehicle. She doesn't have a sufficient, stable income from her part-time, on-campus job for me to be confident that she can
swing the note every month. I would still have to borrow the downpayment and cover the insurance, and if I had to kick in the note as well--even occasionally--it would put me in a SERIOUS bind. Sigh. I wish I could afford to buy her whatever her heart desires...

Sister-in-law spent another 7 days or so in a hospital recently for seizures related to alcohol poisoning/methamphetamine withdrawal and alcohol-induced liver impairment. She isn't getting it. The doctors keep telling her, if she continues to drink--she will die. She hasn't worked in two years, and hasn't had custody of her son for a year-and-a-half. She goes through the motions of acting like the anguished mother, persecuted unfairly by having her only son removed from her care.
She protests the loss of custody because she thinks she should, that it is expected of her.

Please. Truth be told, I don't think she cares. Parenthood cramped her (partying) style, anyway. She knows what it will take to get him back: Get sober, get a job, get a stable home environment for him. In that order.

Here's something neat:


A couple of summers ago, my dad stopped near a cotton field and picked up some of the cotton bolls that were laying near the road. He planted the seeds and sent me a couple of the mature cotton bolls. So, this summer, I planted some of the seeds from the cotton that he grew, and grew some of my own. These were the first of maybe 12-15 bolls I will harvest. I want to save enough of the cleaned fibers to stuff some throw pillows and maybe give my dad one for Christmas!

Enough for now.
Ciao.