Out of a Nosedive

Whew! I feel like I am finally pulling out of a severe nosedive. My mood is slowly improving...I know in my rational mind that the "Serenity Prayer" should be my credo. I simply must accept the things I cannot change. And there are plenty of them...the situation with my nephew, my husband's mentality, the stressors of living with in-laws and working two jobs.

And so, I should continue to ask for the "Wisdom to know the difference", right?

(I still have these occasional "crashes", though, where I hate everything and everybody.)

I leave you, now, as I prepare to enjoy a rare afternoon nap...it's Secretaries' Day, and all the supervisors in my office agreed to let the entire clerical staff off for 1/2 day! They are even taking one-hour shifts at the receptionists desk! (I would LOVE to be a fly on the wall this afternoon.) I still have to go to my other job later, but I will be so-o-o-o-o-o rested by then!

Arrivederci!

What in the *&%! is Wrong With Me?

So, last night, as my husband was coughing his head off, he commented that when he had a bad cold, the only thing that ever quieted the coughing was hydrocodone. It bothered me tremendously (and I said so) because he is a "recovering addict"--to hydrocodone. And I know that if he really wanted it, he could find it fairly easily. This morning, I was looking at Facebook, and I noticed that he had joined a group called "Allstars of Alcohol". I went slightly ballistic. Like in-the-outer-atmosphere-ballistic. I railed and ranted and screamed and then. . .

I realized that I am severely depressed. I am 46 years old. Still living with hubby's parents and working at two jobs, while he is finishing his Associate Degree. Something he should have done more than 20 years ago. He is talking about going to school for another 3 semesters, now, which would actually give him a Bachelor Degree. I hate to discourage him from pursuing his goals--and this is a good one--but I just don't know how much more I can take. I hate living here, even as I realize that I should be grateful for his folks' kindness and generosity.

His sister's 13 1/2 year old son is still here, and he is becoming a real jerk. I truly cannot stand the kid. My mother-in-law will not permit anyone to correct him except her--she feels that too many bosses is what made him so difficult to begin with. He is defiant, lazy, disrespectful and immature. She gently wakes him in steps every morning. First, open the door and call out to him gently. Then, turn on the hall light and shake him a little. Next, go ahead and turn on the light in his room and tell him it's time. About 5 minutes later, make him get up.

Then she TURNS ON HIS SHOWER WATER FOR HIM!!! And while he's IN the shower she lays out his clothes and puts his belt through the loops on his pants!

In the afternoon, when they are doing homework, she sits right next to him and says "Okay, now work this next one." For EVERY problem on EVERY page. He has never been made to work independently and cannot. Of course, it's because "his ADHD meds have worn off, and he can't focus by himself". Oh, and there are NEVER consequences for bad behavior, only "rewards" for the good behavior (*Sticks finger down throat. Gag. UGH!*)

So, now what? I am depressed, but my depression manifests itself (and always has) as irrational, seething, anger. Fury would be more accurate. I lash out and say absolutely hateful things that I actually mean at the time. Like...the only mistake I ever made was getting married. That kind of thing. That I would get a divorce, if I could afford one. That I'd be ABLE to afford one, if he (husband) just had a JOB. That I'm sick of living with his folks, while he chased his little juvenile dreams.

Yeah, I said all of that. But, this isn't helping. And I have 3 loads of laundry to get done.

Midweek Blues

Well, Hell's bells. I was going to try to keep more of my postings on a positive note, but I don't' feel the need to get positive feelings "off my chest".

However, I would like to share that this past weekend was as close to a perfect weekend as I have had in a long time. My nephew--who lives with my in-laws and me--spent most of the weekend with his OTHER grandparents! They visited his dad and went to a festival in another part of the state, and seemed to have had a really nice time. And, my husband and daughter were both home. She even came without her current boyfriend. (I like him just fine, but I still enjoy having her "all to myself" now and then.) The weather was absolutely fabulous--and still is!

So, why the midweek blues? Monday, I started my period--complete with a monster headache--and caught a cold. I made the whole winter without one, and now that the weather is getting warm and summer-ish, I get a head and chest cold. (I had a flu shot, so I'm pretty sure it's just a cold.) The headache went away, but this cold and the other are kicking my butt.

And my blood sugar is all out of whack. I'm not even taking any cold medicine, so it can't be the "hidden" sugar. They claim being sick does that to diabetics, but it doesn't make it any easier.

*Sigh*

In The News

Every major news outlet has had a story about teenaged girls videotaping a recent brutal beating of another female teenager. In all of the reports, the faces of those responsible have been blocked/blurred (except for the one 18-year-old), as they should be if they are underage. However, their parents are most assuredly of age, and I think we should be allowed to see just whose kids are capable of such monstrous violence. And aren't they RESPONSIBLE for the actions of their children?? I think if more parents would be held accountable, we'd see much less of this kind of thing.

(Yeah, I know that ID-ing the parents would be tantamount to ID-ing the kids.)

Arrivederci!

Hah! I Did It!

I finally figured out the correct way to post links in my blog. (See previous post.)

Now, I know that isn't an earth-shaking event, but that little thing seems like an enormous accomplishment to me.

Hooray!

Seriously Stupid

I can't even comment on the sheer stupidity here:

Botched Satellite TV Installation