Lately, this blog seems to be less about me and more about my screwed-up sister in law.
My peace this week, visiting my family in Houston has been slightly marred by yet another of my alcoholic sister-in-law's serial crises. Christmas night, she started vomiting blood and by the day after Christmas (the day we travelled to my dad's house), she was bleeding rectally as well. Her ex-husband took her to the hospital in Jasper, TX. We talked about postponing our trip, but decided to go on, because we didn't really have any hard information about her condition.
She was rushed to the hospital in Beaumont, where she was admitted, and treated for multiple bleeding ulcers and a perforated esophagus, caused by chronic alcohol abuse. They stopped the bleeding and are now treating the ulcers and other problems, while she lays in bed stoned on tranquilizers to keep her from having severe DT's while she de-toxes. She is out of danger for the moment...but they have told her that if she continues to drink, she will be dead in less than 2 years.
On a happier note: I got to spend the entire day yesterday with my dad, husband and daughter in Galveston! We rode the ferry, and walked on the beach. The day was slightly overcast, but not raining and the temps were in the lower 60's. Not a bad day at all! We also ate a fabulous Mexican dinner at Salsa's Restaurant. I had a wonderful time and took some real "keeper" photographs.
Peace is an elusive goal, but maybe it is a relative concept.
Ciao!
Friday, December 29, 2006
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Peace....AT LAST
Christmas was not without its glitches, but at least there were no major conflicts or confrontations. We only had 6 people staying in the house, but a total of 14 spent Christmas day with us.
My sister-in-law arrived on time, much to everyone's astonishment, and stayed fairly sober throughout the day, again, to everyone's amazement.
There were, however, a few occasional tense moments, (she made some comments that I could have easily made an issue of, but I chose not to), and all things considered, Christmas went well. (WHEW!)
Now, I am in Porter, TX (about 40 miles N. of Houston) to spend a week or so with my dad and brother. And finally...Peace. It is so quiet here.
Hope everyone has a splendid and safe New Year!
Arrivederci!
My sister-in-law arrived on time, much to everyone's astonishment, and stayed fairly sober throughout the day, again, to everyone's amazement.
There were, however, a few occasional tense moments, (she made some comments that I could have easily made an issue of, but I chose not to), and all things considered, Christmas went well. (WHEW!)
Now, I am in Porter, TX (about 40 miles N. of Houston) to spend a week or so with my dad and brother. And finally...Peace. It is so quiet here.
Hope everyone has a splendid and safe New Year!
Arrivederci!
Friday, December 22, 2006
Peace on Earth (Or at Least in My World)
Here is my entire Christmas wish list: Peace. I just want everyone to get along. I want "Peace" and quiet. I want "Peace" of mind. And yes, Peace on Earth would be nice, too.
Sister-in-law is still strolling around in the clouds, but she's planning to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day here with her parents, my husband and I, our daughter, and her son. There will be 7 of us (Count 'em: SEVEN) in a two bedroom house, where the living room has been modified to form a third (my and my husband's) bedroom. I just hope she can hold it together long enough to get through Christmas. She seems to be drinking less, but I won't even speculate that she has her drinking "under control". GMAC came to the door hunting her the other day--remember that she and her then-boyfriend flipped her not-yet-paid-for car, the one on which she had let the insurance policy lapse. She has yet to mention this issue to anyone. Right now, she's obsessed with spending her last paycheck on Christmas. No mention of when she might work again to try to get custody of her son, or what she will do when this money is gone... but that's not my problem in any way, shape or form, is it??
God help us all, when she gets here.
Daughter and husband made most excellent grades on their final exams: Daughter made 4, A's and one B, Husband made 4, B's and one A. (Not bad for a 43-year-old man who'd been out of school for more years than he wants to admit.)
I betcha this is gonna be a Christmas to remember. I hope I have time to update here afterwards.
And I hope I can find at least one of the kinds of "Peace" I have been wishing for!
Later.
Sister-in-law is still strolling around in the clouds, but she's planning to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day here with her parents, my husband and I, our daughter, and her son. There will be 7 of us (Count 'em: SEVEN) in a two bedroom house, where the living room has been modified to form a third (my and my husband's) bedroom. I just hope she can hold it together long enough to get through Christmas. She seems to be drinking less, but I won't even speculate that she has her drinking "under control". GMAC came to the door hunting her the other day--remember that she and her then-boyfriend flipped her not-yet-paid-for car, the one on which she had let the insurance policy lapse. She has yet to mention this issue to anyone. Right now, she's obsessed with spending her last paycheck on Christmas. No mention of when she might work again to try to get custody of her son, or what she will do when this money is gone... but that's not my problem in any way, shape or form, is it??
God help us all, when she gets here.
Daughter and husband made most excellent grades on their final exams: Daughter made 4, A's and one B, Husband made 4, B's and one A. (Not bad for a 43-year-old man who'd been out of school for more years than he wants to admit.)
I betcha this is gonna be a Christmas to remember. I hope I have time to update here afterwards.
And I hope I can find at least one of the kinds of "Peace" I have been wishing for!
Later.
Saturday, December 02, 2006
Thankfulness
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity . . . Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities.
Where do I begin??? Truly, the last couple of weeks have been both the best and the worst of times. My sister-in-law is so far gone...she was arrested twice in a three-week span for public intoxication. The "friend" she was staying with called her parents and asked them to come get her. They said they would only come get her if she would agree to go into treatment for her alcoholism. She agreed, so they made the 6-hour round trip to get her home. She was a mess. She hadn't bathed in several days, and she had stopped eating. She was so weak, she had to be supported to walk to the car and couldn't get out of the bed by herself when she got here. It was really awful. But the next day was Thanksgiving, so she wouldn't be able to check into a treatment center until after the holiday.
Thanksgiving was fairly pleasant. My daughter was home from college, and she always loves to make the dressing to go with the turkey. My mother-in-law bakes the turkey, and I usually make most of the side dishes, including--of course--cheesecake. My in-laws go get my father-in-law's mother out of her
nursing home and bring her here for dinner. We had a really nice meal. It was actually better than I expected. (Sister-in-law stayed in bed most of the time...but we did get her bathed...and yes, she stayed a little drunk. We let her drink some, just to keep the DT's at bay. We knew we were not going to be able to deal with that. When she did get up, she laid around on the floor most of the time, making random unrelated comments to anyone in earshot) But all things considered, Thanksgiving was really nice.
So, the next day was the day sister-in-law was supposed to go into treatment. She refused to get up. Wouldn't take a bath. Finally had to be physically put into the car. She slept the whole trip (about 1 1/2 hours) and then was able to get out and willingly go in under her own power.
In about 6 hours, she was so agitated that they allowed her to call someone to come get her. (Our mistake--we didn't get a coroner to declare her a danger to herself, so they couldn't lock her down and make her stay.) She didn't call us for two days to let us know where she was staying. And so, she is with another "friend", not working or even thinking about working. Not even asking about her son, of whom she lost custody this week.
And we have all just decided to move on. We think about her everyday, but we can't even have her committed against her will unless she comes back here, so we go on about our business. And pray a lot.
There is other really terrific news, though! Lots of it! My husband officially completed his drug program and probation successfully. He will have his convictions removed and will be able to get his laboratory technologist certification when he finishes school next summer. He will be able to vote, again, and get his guns out of the pawn shop! And when he starts working, we can start looking for a place. Hooray! Life is good.
And more good news! My daughter has broken off her relationship with the 33-year-old man from Illinois. Praise God! My prayers have been answered. And she was recently elected as the treasurer of her campus chapter of Sigma Tau Delta. She's made plans to go visit her (male) friend in Arkansas after finals, and they are going to go see the Trans-Siberian Orchestra in concert. (Him, I approve of. He's a year younger than she is, and a music major in college. A really nice, young man.)
So, for these last small successes I am profoundly thankful!
And now you know the "Rest of the Story" (Paul Harvey)
Where do I begin??? Truly, the last couple of weeks have been both the best and the worst of times. My sister-in-law is so far gone...she was arrested twice in a three-week span for public intoxication. The "friend" she was staying with called her parents and asked them to come get her. They said they would only come get her if she would agree to go into treatment for her alcoholism. She agreed, so they made the 6-hour round trip to get her home. She was a mess. She hadn't bathed in several days, and she had stopped eating. She was so weak, she had to be supported to walk to the car and couldn't get out of the bed by herself when she got here. It was really awful. But the next day was Thanksgiving, so she wouldn't be able to check into a treatment center until after the holiday.
Thanksgiving was fairly pleasant. My daughter was home from college, and she always loves to make the dressing to go with the turkey. My mother-in-law bakes the turkey, and I usually make most of the side dishes, including--of course--cheesecake. My in-laws go get my father-in-law's mother out of her
nursing home and bring her here for dinner. We had a really nice meal. It was actually better than I expected. (Sister-in-law stayed in bed most of the time...but we did get her bathed...and yes, she stayed a little drunk. We let her drink some, just to keep the DT's at bay. We knew we were not going to be able to deal with that. When she did get up, she laid around on the floor most of the time, making random unrelated comments to anyone in earshot) But all things considered, Thanksgiving was really nice.
So, the next day was the day sister-in-law was supposed to go into treatment. She refused to get up. Wouldn't take a bath. Finally had to be physically put into the car. She slept the whole trip (about 1 1/2 hours) and then was able to get out and willingly go in under her own power.
In about 6 hours, she was so agitated that they allowed her to call someone to come get her. (Our mistake--we didn't get a coroner to declare her a danger to herself, so they couldn't lock her down and make her stay.) She didn't call us for two days to let us know where she was staying. And so, she is with another "friend", not working or even thinking about working. Not even asking about her son, of whom she lost custody this week.
And we have all just decided to move on. We think about her everyday, but we can't even have her committed against her will unless she comes back here, so we go on about our business. And pray a lot.
There is other really terrific news, though! Lots of it! My husband officially completed his drug program and probation successfully. He will have his convictions removed and will be able to get his laboratory technologist certification when he finishes school next summer. He will be able to vote, again, and get his guns out of the pawn shop! And when he starts working, we can start looking for a place. Hooray! Life is good.
And more good news! My daughter has broken off her relationship with the 33-year-old man from Illinois. Praise God! My prayers have been answered. And she was recently elected as the treasurer of her campus chapter of Sigma Tau Delta. She's made plans to go visit her (male) friend in Arkansas after finals, and they are going to go see the Trans-Siberian Orchestra in concert. (Him, I approve of. He's a year younger than she is, and a music major in college. A really nice, young man.)
So, for these last small successes I am profoundly thankful!
And now you know the "Rest of the Story" (Paul Harvey)
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