"Stumble Upon" and Other Random Stuff

My daughter has introduced me to the neatest thing..."Stumble Upon". It's a free toolbar (*groan*) that works with either IE or Mozilla/Firefox, takes less that a minute to download, and takes you to random websites when you click the "Stumble" button, based on your preferences as determined by questions you answer when you install it. After each stumble, you are given an opportunity to rate each site as "I Like It" (Thumbs Up) or "No More Like This" (Thumbs Down), and my daughter says to do this after every stumble, because it gets better at finding sites you will enjoy each time you rate a random site. It's quite habit forming....and it solves the problem of what to look up when you just want to "surf the 'net"!

And in a completely unrelated matter: My 19-year-old daughter is having her first real conflict with her 3 apartment mates. Her boyfriend (the 33-year-old, of whom I disapprove) wants to come visit for the Thanksgiving break. They would only be staying at the apartment for a couple of days, until her classes end for the break, then she would be bringing him home. In the beginning they had agreed not to have boyfriends overnight at the apartment, but the girls made an exception here and one there, but now that it's my daughter's turn, they are all against it. In principle, she should be allowed the same "exception" as the other girls. They don't like him, though, because he is so much older. One girls says he "smells like smoke". I don't know what to tell her. I don't like him either, although, in all honesty I have never met the man. My objection is strictly because of their age difference.

So now what?

It Begins

Today, it's not about me. Not directly, anyway. My sister-in-law has been in the hospital, now, for about 4 days--drying out, de-toxing, whatever you want to call it. She has been sedated at times, when the DT's got too bad (she was trembling, seeing things, and talking out of her head), but seems to be pulling out of it now.

And so, it begins.

Getting off of alcohol (and anti-anxiety drugs, tranquilizers, etc.) will just be a small part of her personal battle. She still has to come to terms with her addiction. As we all know, that's going to be the biggest challenge she will face. It will mean she can NEVER again do the things that she has done for her entire adult life "for fun". It will most likely mean that she can never "hang" with the old crowd, again. It did for us. She has finally agreed to go into an inpatient facility to learn to deal with the disease she will have for the rest of her life.. She may go as early as tomorrow, and will be there a minimum of one month--longer if they feel she needs it.

And when she is discharged, I have a strong feeling that the weight of what she has done will come crashing down on her. She has lost custody of her son, crashed and totaled her car (with no insurance--she had let it lapse), doesn't really have a job to come back to, and she will be facing bankruptcy, a lawsuit by the auto loan company to recover what she still owed on her car, and plenty of other financial crises (like child support payments, if her son's father is awarded permanent custody of their son at the hearing scheduled for later this fall).

And no one is talking about it yet, but she will be living here. With her parents, her brother (my recovering husband) , me, and occasionally my college-student daughter. And at some point may have court-ordered visitation with her son

Do the math: There will be five us in a three bedroom house, and occasionally as many as seven.

It going to be quite a challenge for all of us isn't it???

Three Beautiful Things

You have to check out this blog...Three Beautiful Things. (http://threebeautifulthings.blogspot.com). It is being featured as one of the "Blogs of Note", and I was so amazed that I decided to include a link on my page.

It reminds me that all is not hopeless and that there IS a light at the end of my tunnel! I will visit this one often...

Whining?

Is it whining? (And, as such, a sign of weakness?) Or is it venting? (And, therefore, therapeutic) Is there really a difference?

I am still struggling with the facts of my life: I live with my in-laws because my husband was arrested for drug possession in April, 2005, and I couldn't support myself on just my earnings. He went into treatment for his addiction, which was tremendously successful--a year and a half later, he is still clean and sober, but his court-ordered treatment is continuing, which is a good thing. He qualified for services through Vocational Rehabilitation (Drug addiction is a disability!) and is at this moment a full-time student pursuing an Associate degree, with all of his tuition and books being paid for by Voc. Rehab! However, he spends between $500-$600 a month in gasoline, going to and from the campus--a 90 mile round trip everyday. So I also have a second, part-time job to help with that. I can pay all our bills--car insurance on three cars, cell phone bills, one credit card, storage unit rental, medicine (probably our biggest expense with no insurance!), and help some with groceries, but not pay rent and utilities.

Okay, so those are the facts. As I said--I'm struggling with that, but, I am dealing with them, and that's not what I feel like "whining" or "venting" about.

It's my sister-in-law. She was denied a teaching contract in May, due to excessive absences (caused by alcohol/drug problems). Moved to another town and was able to find a job there. Then she started missing work, again, and missed so much that she was placed on administrative leave. She was offered another position--not teaching, but at least it was a job. She lost custody of her son, because of some things that happened when she and her drug-addicted husband separated. Then she lost this job, too, due to missing work. (Is this her second? Or third?) Last week, she flipped her car. And her insurance had lapsed.

So she has no job, no son, no car. And still she is blaming her parents (for their child rearing shortcomings), her ex-husband, etc. She still hasn't admitted her role in what has been happening. Her life is in shambles--and it's no one's fault but her own.

And this affects me how, you ask? In two weeks, her rent will be due. She won't be able to pay it. Her parents are only willing to help her if she will seek treatment for her addictions. But if she does accept their offer, she will be moving in with them/us. I find myself feeling angry and resentful, when I know in my heart that she is sick. I don't want her here, upsetting our delicate routine. It has been perhaps the greatest challenge of my life to live with my in-laws peacefully for so long, but my husband is so close to being finished with his studies and his court-ordered rehabilitation...I just don't want to deal with her selfish, pity-party attitude. She has no concept of what her b**s*** is doing to her parents.

So, was this whining? Or venting? I don't have any close friends to talk with anymore, because they all continue to thrash about in the gutter of drug use. I jettisoned all of them. So, I use this avenue to "unload" and keep myself sane.

Does it work? Check back for updates....

"Fair" Weather!

The annual Fair opened last week, and the weather was actually quite pleasant. Check out that blue sky! Hurricane Rita smashed up the plans for the fair last year, so this was the first fair in two years. It was quite the event!

My husband was so enthusiastic, almost like a kid again. He and our daughter both had several days off from school, so they got to spend some quality father/daughter time at the fair (to ride ALL the rides) together. He and I went once, by ourselves, and then we all went together. It was really fun--a little expensive, since it was $3 apiece to get in and about $3 per ride (plus any food we consumed) but it was so great. And it reminded me how different our lives are than they were just a couple of years ago. I gave thanks to God for getting us through.

It was so much fun seeing all of the people we hadn't seen in years. You can really tell how life is treating people when you see them after a long period of time. I wonder what they thought of us and how we had changed?

The weather was so fine. Almost like I remember it from when our daughter was only 4 or 5 years old. It would be so cold at fair time that all the little ones on the floats in the fair parade would be shivering by the end. And they say "global warming" is a myth!

Well, it's back to the salt mines--so to speak-- for all of us today.

Arrivederci!