Lately, this blog seems to be less about me and more about my screwed-up sister in law.
My peace this week, visiting my family in Houston has been slightly marred by yet another of my alcoholic sister-in-law's serial crises. Christmas night, she started vomiting blood and by the day after Christmas (the day we travelled to my dad's house), she was bleeding rectally as well. Her ex-husband took her to the hospital in Jasper, TX. We talked about postponing our trip, but decided to go on, because we didn't really have any hard information about her condition.
She was rushed to the hospital in Beaumont, where she was admitted, and treated for multiple bleeding ulcers and a perforated esophagus, caused by chronic alcohol abuse. They stopped the bleeding and are now treating the ulcers and other problems, while she lays in bed stoned on tranquilizers to keep her from having severe DT's while she de-toxes. She is out of danger for the moment...but they have told her that if she continues to drink, she will be dead in less than 2 years.
On a happier note: I got to spend the entire day yesterday with my dad, husband and daughter in Galveston! We rode the ferry, and walked on the beach. The day was slightly overcast, but not raining and the temps were in the lower 60's. Not a bad day at all! We also ate a fabulous Mexican dinner at Salsa's Restaurant. I had a wonderful time and took some real "keeper" photographs.
Peace is an elusive goal, but maybe it is a relative concept.
Ciao!
Friday, December 29, 2006
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Peace....AT LAST
Christmas was not without its glitches, but at least there were no major conflicts or confrontations. We only had 6 people staying in the house, but a total of 14 spent Christmas day with us.
My sister-in-law arrived on time, much to everyone's astonishment, and stayed fairly sober throughout the day, again, to everyone's amazement.
There were, however, a few occasional tense moments, (she made some comments that I could have easily made an issue of, but I chose not to), and all things considered, Christmas went well. (WHEW!)
Now, I am in Porter, TX (about 40 miles N. of Houston) to spend a week or so with my dad and brother. And finally...Peace. It is so quiet here.
Hope everyone has a splendid and safe New Year!
Arrivederci!
My sister-in-law arrived on time, much to everyone's astonishment, and stayed fairly sober throughout the day, again, to everyone's amazement.
There were, however, a few occasional tense moments, (she made some comments that I could have easily made an issue of, but I chose not to), and all things considered, Christmas went well. (WHEW!)
Now, I am in Porter, TX (about 40 miles N. of Houston) to spend a week or so with my dad and brother. And finally...Peace. It is so quiet here.
Hope everyone has a splendid and safe New Year!
Arrivederci!
Friday, December 22, 2006
Peace on Earth (Or at Least in My World)
Here is my entire Christmas wish list: Peace. I just want everyone to get along. I want "Peace" and quiet. I want "Peace" of mind. And yes, Peace on Earth would be nice, too.
Sister-in-law is still strolling around in the clouds, but she's planning to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day here with her parents, my husband and I, our daughter, and her son. There will be 7 of us (Count 'em: SEVEN) in a two bedroom house, where the living room has been modified to form a third (my and my husband's) bedroom. I just hope she can hold it together long enough to get through Christmas. She seems to be drinking less, but I won't even speculate that she has her drinking "under control". GMAC came to the door hunting her the other day--remember that she and her then-boyfriend flipped her not-yet-paid-for car, the one on which she had let the insurance policy lapse. She has yet to mention this issue to anyone. Right now, she's obsessed with spending her last paycheck on Christmas. No mention of when she might work again to try to get custody of her son, or what she will do when this money is gone... but that's not my problem in any way, shape or form, is it??
God help us all, when she gets here.
Daughter and husband made most excellent grades on their final exams: Daughter made 4, A's and one B, Husband made 4, B's and one A. (Not bad for a 43-year-old man who'd been out of school for more years than he wants to admit.)
I betcha this is gonna be a Christmas to remember. I hope I have time to update here afterwards.
And I hope I can find at least one of the kinds of "Peace" I have been wishing for!
Later.
Sister-in-law is still strolling around in the clouds, but she's planning to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day here with her parents, my husband and I, our daughter, and her son. There will be 7 of us (Count 'em: SEVEN) in a two bedroom house, where the living room has been modified to form a third (my and my husband's) bedroom. I just hope she can hold it together long enough to get through Christmas. She seems to be drinking less, but I won't even speculate that she has her drinking "under control". GMAC came to the door hunting her the other day--remember that she and her then-boyfriend flipped her not-yet-paid-for car, the one on which she had let the insurance policy lapse. She has yet to mention this issue to anyone. Right now, she's obsessed with spending her last paycheck on Christmas. No mention of when she might work again to try to get custody of her son, or what she will do when this money is gone... but that's not my problem in any way, shape or form, is it??
God help us all, when she gets here.
Daughter and husband made most excellent grades on their final exams: Daughter made 4, A's and one B, Husband made 4, B's and one A. (Not bad for a 43-year-old man who'd been out of school for more years than he wants to admit.)
I betcha this is gonna be a Christmas to remember. I hope I have time to update here afterwards.
And I hope I can find at least one of the kinds of "Peace" I have been wishing for!
Later.
Saturday, December 02, 2006
Thankfulness
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity . . . Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities.
Where do I begin??? Truly, the last couple of weeks have been both the best and the worst of times. My sister-in-law is so far gone...she was arrested twice in a three-week span for public intoxication. The "friend" she was staying with called her parents and asked them to come get her. They said they would only come get her if she would agree to go into treatment for her alcoholism. She agreed, so they made the 6-hour round trip to get her home. She was a mess. She hadn't bathed in several days, and she had stopped eating. She was so weak, she had to be supported to walk to the car and couldn't get out of the bed by herself when she got here. It was really awful. But the next day was Thanksgiving, so she wouldn't be able to check into a treatment center until after the holiday.
Thanksgiving was fairly pleasant. My daughter was home from college, and she always loves to make the dressing to go with the turkey. My mother-in-law bakes the turkey, and I usually make most of the side dishes, including--of course--cheesecake. My in-laws go get my father-in-law's mother out of her
nursing home and bring her here for dinner. We had a really nice meal. It was actually better than I expected. (Sister-in-law stayed in bed most of the time...but we did get her bathed...and yes, she stayed a little drunk. We let her drink some, just to keep the DT's at bay. We knew we were not going to be able to deal with that. When she did get up, she laid around on the floor most of the time, making random unrelated comments to anyone in earshot) But all things considered, Thanksgiving was really nice.
So, the next day was the day sister-in-law was supposed to go into treatment. She refused to get up. Wouldn't take a bath. Finally had to be physically put into the car. She slept the whole trip (about 1 1/2 hours) and then was able to get out and willingly go in under her own power.
In about 6 hours, she was so agitated that they allowed her to call someone to come get her. (Our mistake--we didn't get a coroner to declare her a danger to herself, so they couldn't lock her down and make her stay.) She didn't call us for two days to let us know where she was staying. And so, she is with another "friend", not working or even thinking about working. Not even asking about her son, of whom she lost custody this week.
And we have all just decided to move on. We think about her everyday, but we can't even have her committed against her will unless she comes back here, so we go on about our business. And pray a lot.
There is other really terrific news, though! Lots of it! My husband officially completed his drug program and probation successfully. He will have his convictions removed and will be able to get his laboratory technologist certification when he finishes school next summer. He will be able to vote, again, and get his guns out of the pawn shop! And when he starts working, we can start looking for a place. Hooray! Life is good.
And more good news! My daughter has broken off her relationship with the 33-year-old man from Illinois. Praise God! My prayers have been answered. And she was recently elected as the treasurer of her campus chapter of Sigma Tau Delta. She's made plans to go visit her (male) friend in Arkansas after finals, and they are going to go see the Trans-Siberian Orchestra in concert. (Him, I approve of. He's a year younger than she is, and a music major in college. A really nice, young man.)
So, for these last small successes I am profoundly thankful!
And now you know the "Rest of the Story" (Paul Harvey)
Where do I begin??? Truly, the last couple of weeks have been both the best and the worst of times. My sister-in-law is so far gone...she was arrested twice in a three-week span for public intoxication. The "friend" she was staying with called her parents and asked them to come get her. They said they would only come get her if she would agree to go into treatment for her alcoholism. She agreed, so they made the 6-hour round trip to get her home. She was a mess. She hadn't bathed in several days, and she had stopped eating. She was so weak, she had to be supported to walk to the car and couldn't get out of the bed by herself when she got here. It was really awful. But the next day was Thanksgiving, so she wouldn't be able to check into a treatment center until after the holiday.
Thanksgiving was fairly pleasant. My daughter was home from college, and she always loves to make the dressing to go with the turkey. My mother-in-law bakes the turkey, and I usually make most of the side dishes, including--of course--cheesecake. My in-laws go get my father-in-law's mother out of her
nursing home and bring her here for dinner. We had a really nice meal. It was actually better than I expected. (Sister-in-law stayed in bed most of the time...but we did get her bathed...and yes, she stayed a little drunk. We let her drink some, just to keep the DT's at bay. We knew we were not going to be able to deal with that. When she did get up, she laid around on the floor most of the time, making random unrelated comments to anyone in earshot) But all things considered, Thanksgiving was really nice.
So, the next day was the day sister-in-law was supposed to go into treatment. She refused to get up. Wouldn't take a bath. Finally had to be physically put into the car. She slept the whole trip (about 1 1/2 hours) and then was able to get out and willingly go in under her own power.
In about 6 hours, she was so agitated that they allowed her to call someone to come get her. (Our mistake--we didn't get a coroner to declare her a danger to herself, so they couldn't lock her down and make her stay.) She didn't call us for two days to let us know where she was staying. And so, she is with another "friend", not working or even thinking about working. Not even asking about her son, of whom she lost custody this week.
And we have all just decided to move on. We think about her everyday, but we can't even have her committed against her will unless she comes back here, so we go on about our business. And pray a lot.
There is other really terrific news, though! Lots of it! My husband officially completed his drug program and probation successfully. He will have his convictions removed and will be able to get his laboratory technologist certification when he finishes school next summer. He will be able to vote, again, and get his guns out of the pawn shop! And when he starts working, we can start looking for a place. Hooray! Life is good.
And more good news! My daughter has broken off her relationship with the 33-year-old man from Illinois. Praise God! My prayers have been answered. And she was recently elected as the treasurer of her campus chapter of Sigma Tau Delta. She's made plans to go visit her (male) friend in Arkansas after finals, and they are going to go see the Trans-Siberian Orchestra in concert. (Him, I approve of. He's a year younger than she is, and a music major in college. A really nice, young man.)
So, for these last small successes I am profoundly thankful!
And now you know the "Rest of the Story" (Paul Harvey)
Sunday, October 29, 2006
"Stumble Upon" and Other Random Stuff
My daughter has introduced me to the neatest thing..."Stumble Upon". It's a free toolbar (*groan*) that works with either IE or Mozilla/Firefox, takes less that a minute to download, and takes you to random websites when you click the "Stumble" button, based on your preferences as determined by questions you answer when you install it. After each stumble, you are given an opportunity to rate each site as "I Like It" (Thumbs Up) or "No More Like This" (Thumbs Down), and my daughter says to do this after every stumble, because it gets better at finding sites you will enjoy each time you rate a random site. It's quite habit forming....and it solves the problem of what to look up when you just want to "surf the 'net"!
And in a completely unrelated matter: My 19-year-old daughter is having her first real conflict with her 3 apartment mates. Her boyfriend (the 33-year-old, of whom I disapprove) wants to come visit for the Thanksgiving break. They would only be staying at the apartment for a couple of days, until her classes end for the break, then she would be bringing him home. In the beginning they had agreed not to have boyfriends overnight at the apartment, but the girls made an exception here and one there, but now that it's my daughter's turn, they are all against it. In principle, she should be allowed the same "exception" as the other girls. They don't like him, though, because he is so much older. One girls says he "smells like smoke". I don't know what to tell her. I don't like him either, although, in all honesty I have never met the man. My objection is strictly because of their age difference.
So now what?
And in a completely unrelated matter: My 19-year-old daughter is having her first real conflict with her 3 apartment mates. Her boyfriend (the 33-year-old, of whom I disapprove) wants to come visit for the Thanksgiving break. They would only be staying at the apartment for a couple of days, until her classes end for the break, then she would be bringing him home. In the beginning they had agreed not to have boyfriends overnight at the apartment, but the girls made an exception here and one there, but now that it's my daughter's turn, they are all against it. In principle, she should be allowed the same "exception" as the other girls. They don't like him, though, because he is so much older. One girls says he "smells like smoke". I don't know what to tell her. I don't like him either, although, in all honesty I have never met the man. My objection is strictly because of their age difference.
So now what?
Monday, October 23, 2006
It Begins
Today, it's not about me. Not directly, anyway. My sister-in-law has been in the hospital, now, for about 4 days--drying out, de-toxing, whatever you want to call it. She has been sedated at times, when the DT's got too bad (she was trembling, seeing things, and talking out of her head), but seems to be pulling out of it now.
And so, it begins.
Getting off of alcohol (and anti-anxiety drugs, tranquilizers, etc.) will just be a small part of her personal battle. She still has to come to terms with her addiction. As we all know, that's going to be the biggest challenge she will face. It will mean she can NEVER again do the things that she has done for her entire adult life "for fun". It will most likely mean that she can never "hang" with the old crowd, again. It did for us. She has finally agreed to go into an inpatient facility to learn to deal with the disease she will have for the rest of her life.. She may go as early as tomorrow, and will be there a minimum of one month--longer if they feel she needs it.
And when she is discharged, I have a strong feeling that the weight of what she has done will come crashing down on her. She has lost custody of her son, crashed and totaled her car (with no insurance--she had let it lapse), doesn't really have a job to come back to, and she will be facing bankruptcy, a lawsuit by the auto loan company to recover what she still owed on her car, and plenty of other financial crises (like child support payments, if her son's father is awarded permanent custody of their son at the hearing scheduled for later this fall).
And no one is talking about it yet, but she will be living here. With her parents, her brother (my recovering husband) , me, and occasionally my college-student daughter. And at some point may have court-ordered visitation with her son
Do the math: There will be five us in a three bedroom house, and occasionally as many as seven.
It going to be quite a challenge for all of us isn't it???
And so, it begins.
Getting off of alcohol (and anti-anxiety drugs, tranquilizers, etc.) will just be a small part of her personal battle. She still has to come to terms with her addiction. As we all know, that's going to be the biggest challenge she will face. It will mean she can NEVER again do the things that she has done for her entire adult life "for fun". It will most likely mean that she can never "hang" with the old crowd, again. It did for us. She has finally agreed to go into an inpatient facility to learn to deal with the disease she will have for the rest of her life.. She may go as early as tomorrow, and will be there a minimum of one month--longer if they feel she needs it.
And when she is discharged, I have a strong feeling that the weight of what she has done will come crashing down on her. She has lost custody of her son, crashed and totaled her car (with no insurance--she had let it lapse), doesn't really have a job to come back to, and she will be facing bankruptcy, a lawsuit by the auto loan company to recover what she still owed on her car, and plenty of other financial crises (like child support payments, if her son's father is awarded permanent custody of their son at the hearing scheduled for later this fall).
And no one is talking about it yet, but she will be living here. With her parents, her brother (my recovering husband) , me, and occasionally my college-student daughter. And at some point may have court-ordered visitation with her son
Do the math: There will be five us in a three bedroom house, and occasionally as many as seven.
It going to be quite a challenge for all of us isn't it???
Sunday, October 15, 2006
Three Beautiful Things
You have to check out this blog...Three Beautiful Things. (http://threebeautifulthings.blogspot.com). It is being featured as one of the "Blogs of Note", and I was so amazed that I decided to include a link on my page.
It reminds me that all is not hopeless and that there IS a light at the end of my tunnel! I will visit this one often...
It reminds me that all is not hopeless and that there IS a light at the end of my tunnel! I will visit this one often...
Whining?
Is it whining? (And, as such, a sign of weakness?) Or is it venting? (And, therefore, therapeutic) Is there really a difference?
I am still struggling with the facts of my life: I live with my in-laws because my husband was arrested for drug possession in April, 2005, and I couldn't support myself on just my earnings. He went into treatment for his addiction, which was tremendously successful--a year and a half later, he is still clean and sober, but his court-ordered treatment is continuing, which is a good thing. He qualified for services through Vocational Rehabilitation (Drug addiction is a disability!) and is at this moment a full-time student pursuing an Associate degree, with all of his tuition and books being paid for by Voc. Rehab! However, he spends between $500-$600 a month in gasoline, going to and from the campus--a 90 mile round trip everyday. So I also have a second, part-time job to help with that. I can pay all our bills--car insurance on three cars, cell phone bills, one credit card, storage unit rental, medicine (probably our biggest expense with no insurance!), and help some with groceries, but not pay rent and utilities.
Okay, so those are the facts. As I said--I'm struggling with that, but, I am dealing with them, and that's not what I feel like "whining" or "venting" about.
It's my sister-in-law. She was denied a teaching contract in May, due to excessive absences (caused by alcohol/drug problems). Moved to another town and was able to find a job there. Then she started missing work, again, and missed so much that she was placed on administrative leave. She was offered another position--not teaching, but at least it was a job. She lost custody of her son, because of some things that happened when she and her drug-addicted husband separated. Then she lost this job, too, due to missing work. (Is this her second? Or third?) Last week, she flipped her car. And her insurance had lapsed.
So she has no job, no son, no car. And still she is blaming her parents (for their child rearing shortcomings), her ex-husband, etc. She still hasn't admitted her role in what has been happening. Her life is in shambles--and it's no one's fault but her own.
And this affects me how, you ask? In two weeks, her rent will be due. She won't be able to pay it. Her parents are only willing to help her if she will seek treatment for her addictions. But if she does accept their offer, she will be moving in with them/us. I find myself feeling angry and resentful, when I know in my heart that she is sick. I don't want her here, upsetting our delicate routine. It has been perhaps the greatest challenge of my life to live with my in-laws peacefully for so long, but my husband is so close to being finished with his studies and his court-ordered rehabilitation...I just don't want to deal with her selfish, pity-party attitude. She has no concept of what her b**s*** is doing to her parents.
So, was this whining? Or venting? I don't have any close friends to talk with anymore, because they all continue to thrash about in the gutter of drug use. I jettisoned all of them. So, I use this avenue to "unload" and keep myself sane.
Does it work? Check back for updates....
I am still struggling with the facts of my life: I live with my in-laws because my husband was arrested for drug possession in April, 2005, and I couldn't support myself on just my earnings. He went into treatment for his addiction, which was tremendously successful--a year and a half later, he is still clean and sober, but his court-ordered treatment is continuing, which is a good thing. He qualified for services through Vocational Rehabilitation (Drug addiction is a disability!) and is at this moment a full-time student pursuing an Associate degree, with all of his tuition and books being paid for by Voc. Rehab! However, he spends between $500-$600 a month in gasoline, going to and from the campus--a 90 mile round trip everyday. So I also have a second, part-time job to help with that. I can pay all our bills--car insurance on three cars, cell phone bills, one credit card, storage unit rental, medicine (probably our biggest expense with no insurance!), and help some with groceries, but not pay rent and utilities.
Okay, so those are the facts. As I said--I'm struggling with that, but, I am dealing with them, and that's not what I feel like "whining" or "venting" about.
It's my sister-in-law. She was denied a teaching contract in May, due to excessive absences (caused by alcohol/drug problems). Moved to another town and was able to find a job there. Then she started missing work, again, and missed so much that she was placed on administrative leave. She was offered another position--not teaching, but at least it was a job. She lost custody of her son, because of some things that happened when she and her drug-addicted husband separated. Then she lost this job, too, due to missing work. (Is this her second? Or third?) Last week, she flipped her car. And her insurance had lapsed.
So she has no job, no son, no car. And still she is blaming her parents (for their child rearing shortcomings), her ex-husband, etc. She still hasn't admitted her role in what has been happening. Her life is in shambles--and it's no one's fault but her own.
And this affects me how, you ask? In two weeks, her rent will be due. She won't be able to pay it. Her parents are only willing to help her if she will seek treatment for her addictions. But if she does accept their offer, she will be moving in with them/us. I find myself feeling angry and resentful, when I know in my heart that she is sick. I don't want her here, upsetting our delicate routine. It has been perhaps the greatest challenge of my life to live with my in-laws peacefully for so long, but my husband is so close to being finished with his studies and his court-ordered rehabilitation...I just don't want to deal with her selfish, pity-party attitude. She has no concept of what her b**s*** is doing to her parents.
So, was this whining? Or venting? I don't have any close friends to talk with anymore, because they all continue to thrash about in the gutter of drug use. I jettisoned all of them. So, I use this avenue to "unload" and keep myself sane.
Does it work? Check back for updates....
Monday, October 09, 2006
"Fair" Weather!
The annual Fair opened last week, and the weather was actually quite pleasant. Check out that blue sky! Hurricane Rita smashed up the plans for the fair last year, so this was the first fair in two years. It was quite the event! My husband was so enthusiastic, almost like a kid again. He and our daughter both had several days off from school, so they got to spend some quality father/daughter time at the fair (to ride ALL the rides) together. He and I went once, by ourselves, and then we all went together. It was really fun--a little expensive, since it was $3 apiece to get in and about $3 per ride (plus any food we consumed) but it was so great. And it reminded me how different our lives are than they were just a couple of years ago. I gave thanks to God for getting us through.
It was so much fun seeing all of the people we hadn't seen in years. You can really tell how life is treating people when you see them after a long period of time. I wonder what they thought of us and how we had changed?
The weather was so fine. Almost like I remember it from when our daughter was only 4 or 5 years old. It would be so cold at fair time that all the little ones on the floats in the fair parade would be shivering by the end. And they say "global warming" is a myth!
Well, it's back to the salt mines--so to speak-- for all of us today.
Arrivederci!
Sunday, September 24, 2006
Hurricane Rita Revisited
One year ago, Hurricane Rita slammed into the Texas-Louisiana Gulf Coast and rocked my world. Most media outlets covering the anniversary of Hurricane Rita are focusing on the recovery efforts--very much ongoing in most places.Today, instead, I find it therapeutic to revisit my memories of Rita's aftermath. I can still hear the roaring wind and rain of that night; it went on and on and on for many hours. I could hear the roof groaning under the strain. I slept about 2 hours, sure that the next massive gusts would take it off. But ever-so-gradually the wind slacked up, and weak daylight struggled through the cloud cover, and this is what we saw:
We chose not to evacuate. And as bad as things were for us without power for seven days, we considered ourselves lucky--we never lost our running water or phone service.
And, all of the trees that fell missed the house. Others were not so lucky.
This contractor's trailer
flipped.
A storage shed. Everything
inside was intact. The walls
were just peeled off.
The (formerly) covered stage
at our local park.
This storm was "forgotten" by the national media outlets. Today, I choose not to forget.
Sunday, September 17, 2006
The Good Weekend
I was way overdue for a good weekend, and this was it. My daughter came home from college (first time this semester) and seems so happy! She is still enamored of the older guy from Illinois, the one who has had some recent battles with drug use, but I have faith that God will bring her safely through this. She appears to be focused on having a successful semester and committed to putting her education ahead of any personal goals, right now. We had a really pleasant visit with her.
The other turbulence which has rocked our world in recent weeks seems to be calming somewhat. My sister-in-law is still really screwed up, but at the moment still has a job. Not the one she was hired to do, but a job. Her school board held an administrative hearing to determine what action to take and chose to remove her from the classroom for the rest of the year, placing her instead into an ISS (In-School Suspension) position. So she might still pull out of the nose-dive she has been in this past year. I'm not optimistic. And there is still the matter of Child Protective Services taking custody of her son and placing him in his father's home. But he (my nephew) seems happy , because he is getting to know a half-sister that he hasn't been able to spend much time with.
Tomorrow, it's back to the grind. Monday: Up at 5 am, work two jobs, come home, eat supper, clean the kitchen, check email, bed. Tuesday: same. Wednesday: same. Thursday: same. Firiday, however, NOT the same! Hubby and I have a ticket for a steak dinner, at which there will be drawing for $10,000. I went in with 9 other folkds at my office , so if we win we'll each get to bring home $1,000! But at the very least, we will have gotten a steak dinner out of the deal, right?
Ciao!
The other turbulence which has rocked our world in recent weeks seems to be calming somewhat. My sister-in-law is still really screwed up, but at the moment still has a job. Not the one she was hired to do, but a job. Her school board held an administrative hearing to determine what action to take and chose to remove her from the classroom for the rest of the year, placing her instead into an ISS (In-School Suspension) position. So she might still pull out of the nose-dive she has been in this past year. I'm not optimistic. And there is still the matter of Child Protective Services taking custody of her son and placing him in his father's home. But he (my nephew) seems happy , because he is getting to know a half-sister that he hasn't been able to spend much time with.
Tomorrow, it's back to the grind. Monday: Up at 5 am, work two jobs, come home, eat supper, clean the kitchen, check email, bed. Tuesday: same. Wednesday: same. Thursday: same. Firiday, however, NOT the same! Hubby and I have a ticket for a steak dinner, at which there will be drawing for $10,000. I went in with 9 other folkds at my office , so if we win we'll each get to bring home $1,000! But at the very least, we will have gotten a steak dinner out of the deal, right?
Ciao!
Sunday, September 10, 2006
[dis-fuhngk-shuhn]
Can you say "dysfunction" ? [dis-fuhngk-shuhn]
When you look it up in the dictionary, there it is...my family photo.
My family had a long love affair with drugs. All drugs. Alcohol, pot, cocaine, crystal (meth), anti-depressants, codeine/pain meds. By the grace of God, almost all of us are now clean and sober. Except for my poor sister-in-law. She's the last one still in the steel-trap grip of addiction. But, she is just about to hit the proverbial "rock bottom", where she will finally find help.
Which is what has to happen.
My husband's parents blame themselves, since they were heavily into the "party scene" when my husband and his sister were teenagers. They even did some "swinging". So they beat themselves up a lot over the poor example they feel that they set. But they realized where the road they were on was leading and they turned themselves around. Both have retired now and are active in their church family.
My husband and I specnt many years in "pursuit of the perfect high", like "Baba Fats". (See http://www.banned-width.com/shel/works/high.html, for more into) Finally, he found himself trying to feed an insatiable addiction to painkillers--which eventually got him arrested. He went into an intensive inpatient treatment program and came out a new man. Clean now almost 18 months! We are still living with his parents for financial reasons, but he is doing well in college, looking forward to a new career as a clinical laboratory technician. Once he completes all the terms of his probation, his record will be expunged.
Sister-in-law....wow, what can I say? Her third marriage is ending as a direct result of her continuing involvement with alcohol and drugs, as did her two previous marriages. She lost her previous job, due to excessive absences...caused by, you guessed it, alcohol and drugs. And she is now on administrative leave pending a hearing from her current position, due to...wouldn't you know it?...alcohol and drugs. Her son has been removed from her home--yep, alcohol and drugs, again--but also because she let a convicted felon move into the house. And her husband cleaned out her bank account he left. So, she has no job, no son, and her money is about to run out.
Yeah, I'd say she is almost ready to ask for help. But will she take the help that's offered?? My husband's parents say they will only help her if she goes into the same inpatient treatment treatment program her brother went into. It's a real tough program, but by God, it works!
Did I hear somebody mention "dysfunctional"? That would be us!
Please remember us in your prayers.
When you look it up in the dictionary, there it is...my family photo.
My family had a long love affair with drugs. All drugs. Alcohol, pot, cocaine, crystal (meth), anti-depressants, codeine/pain meds. By the grace of God, almost all of us are now clean and sober. Except for my poor sister-in-law. She's the last one still in the steel-trap grip of addiction. But, she is just about to hit the proverbial "rock bottom", where she will finally find help.
Which is what has to happen.
My husband's parents blame themselves, since they were heavily into the "party scene" when my husband and his sister were teenagers. They even did some "swinging". So they beat themselves up a lot over the poor example they feel that they set. But they realized where the road they were on was leading and they turned themselves around. Both have retired now and are active in their church family.
My husband and I specnt many years in "pursuit of the perfect high", like "Baba Fats". (See http://www.banned-width.com/shel/works/high.html, for more into) Finally, he found himself trying to feed an insatiable addiction to painkillers--which eventually got him arrested. He went into an intensive inpatient treatment program and came out a new man. Clean now almost 18 months! We are still living with his parents for financial reasons, but he is doing well in college, looking forward to a new career as a clinical laboratory technician. Once he completes all the terms of his probation, his record will be expunged.
Sister-in-law....wow, what can I say? Her third marriage is ending as a direct result of her continuing involvement with alcohol and drugs, as did her two previous marriages. She lost her previous job, due to excessive absences...caused by, you guessed it, alcohol and drugs. And she is now on administrative leave pending a hearing from her current position, due to...wouldn't you know it?...alcohol and drugs. Her son has been removed from her home--yep, alcohol and drugs, again--but also because she let a convicted felon move into the house. And her husband cleaned out her bank account he left. So, she has no job, no son, and her money is about to run out.
Yeah, I'd say she is almost ready to ask for help. But will she take the help that's offered?? My husband's parents say they will only help her if she goes into the same inpatient treatment treatment program her brother went into. It's a real tough program, but by God, it works!
Did I hear somebody mention "dysfunctional"? That would be us!
Please remember us in your prayers.
Saturday, September 09, 2006
Where Were You on 9/11?
I have seen so many websites asking for input about where people happened to be on the day terrorists brought down the twin towers of the World Trade Center in New York City, assuming of course that it was terrorists and not our own government, as is alleged by the conspiracy-theorists.
I was at the home of my best friend. I had left my husband (again) because I just couldn't deal with his being f***ed up anymore. I stayed with her a week or so and then went to a women's shelter for another couple of weeks. (I eventually went back to him, and the rest you know if you read my first few posts.)
I turned on her TV, it was about 7:00 am CST or so, and one of the towers was on fire. Regular programming had been suspended. I said "Hey, look at this. One of the twin towers is on fire!" Just moments later, a second plane had slammed into the other tower; and shortly after that, all hell broke loose. Both towers collapsed, killing thousands, other planes were hijacked and crashed. The United States entered a state of shock.
For the first time ever in history, all flights were grounded. Worldwide.
CNN will be broadcasting their 9/11 coverage on Monday. All of it. Uncut. As it happened.
Please watch. We need to be reminded of why we are in Iraq.
Where were you on 9/11/2001?
I was at the home of my best friend. I had left my husband (again) because I just couldn't deal with his being f***ed up anymore. I stayed with her a week or so and then went to a women's shelter for another couple of weeks. (I eventually went back to him, and the rest you know if you read my first few posts.)
I turned on her TV, it was about 7:00 am CST or so, and one of the towers was on fire. Regular programming had been suspended. I said "Hey, look at this. One of the twin towers is on fire!" Just moments later, a second plane had slammed into the other tower; and shortly after that, all hell broke loose. Both towers collapsed, killing thousands, other planes were hijacked and crashed. The United States entered a state of shock.
For the first time ever in history, all flights were grounded. Worldwide.
CNN will be broadcasting their 9/11 coverage on Monday. All of it. Uncut. As it happened.
Please watch. We need to be reminded of why we are in Iraq.
Where were you on 9/11/2001?
Saturday, September 02, 2006
And Life Goes On
It's been about 3 months since I wrote. I almost feel that I have abandoned my blog. I still have both of my jobs; and in fact I should be going to one of them, now. I can set my own time to do the work I have to do, as long as it gets done today, which is a perk of this particular job.
The last three months have been full. My daughter was home for the summer, meaning that we had to go to Baton Rouge and empty her dorm room. And my husband successfully completed his second semester of college. Then daughter had to be moved into her off-campus apartment just a few weeks ago. And husband started his third (and hopefully next-to-last) semester of school.
And I worked, ate, and slept. Not necessarily in that order, of course.
The last three months have been full. My daughter was home for the summer, meaning that we had to go to Baton Rouge and empty her dorm room. And my husband successfully completed his second semester of college. Then daughter had to be moved into her off-campus apartment just a few weeks ago. And husband started his third (and hopefully next-to-last) semester of school.
And I worked, ate, and slept. Not necessarily in that order, of course.
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Immigration Revisited
I received this information via email. Anyone who still pities the poor, underprivileged Mexican immigrants and thinks we should do all we can to help them needs to read this to understand how they treat Americans working in their country...
The following from a director with
I spent five years working in
I worked under a tourist visa for three months and could legally renew it for three more months. After that you were working illegally. I was technically illegal for three weeks waiting on the FM3 approval.
During that six months our Mexican and US Attorneys were working to secure a permanent work visa called a FM3. It was in addition to my
To apply for the FM3 I needed to submit the following notarized originals (not copies) of my:
1. Birth certificates for Barbara and me.
2. Marriage certificate.
3. High school transcripts and proof of graduation.
4. College transcripts for every college I attended and proof of graduation.
5. Two letters of recommendation from supervisors I had worked for at least one year.
6. A letter from The ST. Louis Chief of Police indicating I had no arrest record in the
7. Finally; I had to write a letter about myself that clearly stated why there was no Mexican citizen with my skills and why my skills were important to
All of the above were in English that had to be translated into Spanish and be certified as legal translations and our signatures notarized. It produced a folder about 1.5 inches thick with English on the left side and Spanish on the right.
Once they were completed Barbara and I spent about five hours accompanied by a Mexican attorney touring Mexican government office locations and being photographed and fingerprinted at least three times. At each location (and we remember at least four locations) we were instructed on Mexican tax, labor, housing, and criminal law and that we were required to obey their laws or face the consequences. We could not protest any of the government's actions or we would be committing a felony. We paid out four thousand dollars in fees and bribes to complete the process. When this was done we could legally bring in our household goods that were held by US customs in Loredo
We could not buy a home and were required to rent at very high rates and under contract and compliance with Mexican law.
We were required to get a Mexican drivers license. This was an amazing process. The company arranged for the licensing agency to come to our headquarters location with their photography and finger print equipment and the laminating machine. We showed our
We then had to pay and file Mexican income tax annually using the number of our FM3 as our ID number. The companies Mexican accountants did this for us and we just signed what they prepared. I was about twenty legal size pages annually.
The FM 3 was good for three years and renewable for two more after paying more fees.
Leaving the country meant turning in the FM# and certifying we were leaving no debts behind and no outstanding legal affairs (warrants, tickets or liens) before our household goods were released to customs.
It was a real adventure and If any of our senators or congressmen went through it once they would have a different attitude toward
The Mexican Government uses its vast military and police forces to keep its citizens intimidated and compliant. They never protest at their White House or government offices but do protest daily in front of the
Please feel free to share this with everyone who thinks we are being hard on illegal immigrants
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Confessions
Okay, confession time. Not only have I not updated in loooong time...I was actually considering de-activating my blog. I find that working two jobs is rather all-consuming. But with several minutes to myself, I am reconsidering--perhaps I will update, instead.
My 43-year-old, formerly drug-addicted husband just successfully completed his first semester (in many years) of full-time college in preparation for becoming a certified medical lab technician. I am so proud!
My 18-year-old daughter just successfully completed her freshman year of college, too, and with a 3.0 average! She plans to become a high school English teacher.
We are still living with my in-laws. Not the most ideal situation, but I just have to remind myself to keep my eyes on the prize and don't sweat the small stuff.
My only real concern at this point is that my daughter (she is 18, remember?) has become infatuated with a 33-year-old divorced man from Illinois, with a drug problem. She has been communicating with him via phone, chat, webcam and email. And she talks to his mother and his children as well. She thinks all of this contact means that she "knows" him. And, she thinks because he allowed himself to be put into rehab for a couple of days he is "recovered". She wanted to go visit him (at his expense). I flatly forbid her to go. Sure, she is an adult and could have gone anyway. But I told her she would park the car at home (it's in my name), and all of her funding would dry up if she went to see him. (It's scholarship money, but I manage it.) She was angry at first, but she got over it.
Then, I told her that it would be better for him to spend that money on a ticket for himself, so he could visit her here and we could all meet him and judge for ourselves what kind of a guy he was.
She was satisfied with that, and says that he is agreeable, but it hasn't happened yet. Will keep you posted....
And, I reminded her, without mincing words, not to forget the hell we all lived through during her dad's various drug addictions. Trouble is, while she was aware that there were drug-related problems, she probably never knew the extent of them. The times when our utilities were disconnected, however briefly, because daddy spent the bill money on dope and had to borrow some more. The times when he was "coming down" off of one thing or another, and we got into horrendous and sometimes physical fights. The times when he told us that he was "working late" (but was really laid up at someone's house getting fucked up). She wasn't even born during the worst of it--the cocaine and the methamphetamine addictions--thank goodness.
I will try not to let so much time go by next time.
Ciao!
My 43-year-old, formerly drug-addicted husband just successfully completed his first semester (in many years) of full-time college in preparation for becoming a certified medical lab technician. I am so proud!
My 18-year-old daughter just successfully completed her freshman year of college, too, and with a 3.0 average! She plans to become a high school English teacher.
We are still living with my in-laws. Not the most ideal situation, but I just have to remind myself to keep my eyes on the prize and don't sweat the small stuff.
My only real concern at this point is that my daughter (she is 18, remember?) has become infatuated with a 33-year-old divorced man from Illinois, with a drug problem. She has been communicating with him via phone, chat, webcam and email. And she talks to his mother and his children as well. She thinks all of this contact means that she "knows" him. And, she thinks because he allowed himself to be put into rehab for a couple of days he is "recovered". She wanted to go visit him (at his expense). I flatly forbid her to go. Sure, she is an adult and could have gone anyway. But I told her she would park the car at home (it's in my name), and all of her funding would dry up if she went to see him. (It's scholarship money, but I manage it.) She was angry at first, but she got over it.
Then, I told her that it would be better for him to spend that money on a ticket for himself, so he could visit her here and we could all meet him and judge for ourselves what kind of a guy he was.
She was satisfied with that, and says that he is agreeable, but it hasn't happened yet. Will keep you posted....
And, I reminded her, without mincing words, not to forget the hell we all lived through during her dad's various drug addictions. Trouble is, while she was aware that there were drug-related problems, she probably never knew the extent of them. The times when our utilities were disconnected, however briefly, because daddy spent the bill money on dope and had to borrow some more. The times when he was "coming down" off of one thing or another, and we got into horrendous and sometimes physical fights. The times when he told us that he was "working late" (but was really laid up at someone's house getting fucked up). She wasn't even born during the worst of it--the cocaine and the methamphetamine addictions--thank goodness.
I will try not to let so much time go by next time.
Ciao!
Sunday, April 09, 2006
LET FREEDOM RING
Okay, this won't get an elaborate preamble. It came to me in an email. It's blunt, but really not far off the mark AT ALL! (Please visit the link in the title! We need a fence, and we need it NOW!)
If you are ready for the adventure of a lifetime, TRY THIS:
Enter Mexico illegally. Never mind immigration quotas, visas, international law, or any of that nonsense.
Once there, demand that the local government provide free medical care for you and your entire family.
Demand bilingual nurses and doctors.
Demand free bilingual local government forms, bulletins, etc. Procreate abundantly.
Deflect any criticism of this allegedly irresponsible reproductive behavior with, "It is a cultural U.S.A.thing. You would not understand, pal."
Keep your American identity strong. Fly Old Glory from your rooftop, or proudly display it in your front window or on your car bumper.
Speak only English at home and in public and insist that your children do likewise.
Demand classes on American culture in the Mexican school system.
Demand a local Mexican driver license. This will afford other legal rights and will go far to legitimize your unauthorized, illegal, presence in Mexico
Drive around with no liability insurance and ignore local traffic laws.
Insist that local Mexican law enforcement teach English to all its officers.
Good luck! You'll be demanding for the rest of time or soon be dead. Because it will never happen. It will not happen in Mexico or any other country in the world except right here in the United States, Land of the Naive, Stupid, Idiotic, and Politically Correct.
If you are ready for the adventure of a lifetime, TRY THIS:
Enter Mexico illegally. Never mind immigration quotas, visas, international law, or any of that nonsense.
Once there, demand that the local government provide free medical care for you and your entire family.
Demand bilingual nurses and doctors.
Demand free bilingual local government forms, bulletins, etc. Procreate abundantly.
Deflect any criticism of this allegedly irresponsible reproductive behavior with, "It is a cultural U.S.A.thing. You would not understand, pal."
Keep your American identity strong. Fly Old Glory from your rooftop, or proudly display it in your front window or on your car bumper.
Speak only English at home and in public and insist that your children do likewise.
Demand classes on American culture in the Mexican school system.
Demand a local Mexican driver license. This will afford other legal rights and will go far to legitimize your unauthorized, illegal, presence in Mexico
Drive around with no liability insurance and ignore local traffic laws.
Insist that local Mexican law enforcement teach English to all its officers.
Good luck! You'll be demanding for the rest of time or soon be dead. Because it will never happen. It will not happen in Mexico or any other country in the world except right here in the United States, Land of the Naive, Stupid, Idiotic, and Politically Correct.
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Way Over the Line
It has become something of an obsession.
The following column appeared in our local newspaper this past Sunday, and I cannot get over the sheer conceit and immaturity being demonstrated by the EDITOR . The Editor! I keep wondering what kind of impression this would make on a person from out of town, who might pick up a newspaper to explore job prospects or housing opportunities. What would they think if they read this??? A newspaper is often the first contact potential new residents make with a community before deciding to relocate.
Anyway, I was offended and embarrassed for the community by the content:
Xxxxxxx's Wisdom: No more wisdom is needed
By XXXXXXX X. XXXXXXX
| |
| |
Editor
Since I've subjected my readers to my inane, though brilliant, ramblings in every Sunday issue for the last year, I think it's finally time to admit something.
I have no more wisdom to give.
Realistically, I ran out of wisdom about six months ago and I've just been blathering my way through the last 25 or so columns.
| |
To keep going I need something that would spark my artistic creativity - because obviously this is art.
I can't imagine there's anyone who's read all of my ramblings as they've ranged in topic from an elaborate analysis of the second episode of a summer music-reality show to begging for votes in the Chamber of Commerce Business of the Year contest - which we didn't win, not that I'm bitter.
Most of my better columns usually start in longhand in a notebook I keep on my night-table - just like this one did - but some memorable rants, including ones about Burger King and Thanksgiving, were written on the newspaper page.
I generally figure out a topic early in the week and then work out the basic structure and main points of my entertaining little essays in my head. This usually takes a few days but I put it off like a visit to the dentist right after my birthday.
And just as I do on every birthday, I'm going to turn to hip hop to liven things up.
I've decided to start a beef.
I'm going to start calling out names and pointing out who needs to step their column-writing game up - just like 2Pac and 50 Cent taught me.
While there are plenty of big names that I think I can hang with - Jim Litke, Michael Reagan, ... well maybe there aren't that many big name columnists - I'd rather go after someone for whom I have some respect. That means I'll probably have to put off responding to (another columnist's) very special brand of incoherent, Plan D-fueled rants for quite a while.
Instead I want to go after the shining star of the (neighboring town's newspaper) staff- Mr. Xxxx Xxxxx.
I don't remember what he calls his little column, but it should be called Xxxxx' Wisdom because it's a direct knock-off of mine. Obviously it's not as good as mine, but it's not bad for a rookie.
To prove my superiority, I'm going to start jacking his topics and then rewriting them - better - for my column.
This will continue until he either gives up writing his little column or admits, in writing, that he is my disciple.
Since I have something special on slate for next week, I'm going to give him an extra week to get scared and give up.
Peace out.
Sunday, March 19, 2006
It Is Well With My Soul
Today, I feel a peace that I haven't felt for a long time. I am tired--even my bones are tired--yet for the time being, I am content. I know that God is working on me, and He isn't finished with me yet. My struggles with my personal demons are but one step in the tempering process that will produce the finished steel of the highest quality. If I can make it through this period of my life (where I am middle-aged and living with my in-laws so that I can work two jobs to put my middle-aged husband through college), I know will become a stronger person. I have certainly "been through the fire" as the saying goes. Multiple instances of drug addiction since high school, some sporadic physical abuse, spouse's job losses, death of close family members, etc. It was quite a blessing for law enforcement to have intervened when they did--although at the time, it certainly felt like a "crash and burn" moment.
I consider it a gift that God gave me the strength to follow through with my committment to my marriage. "Till death do us part" is a long damn time. But would He have wanted me to abandon my committment when the going got rough? (And believe me--it got ROUGH.) I think not, if only for my daughter's sake. Speaking of whom, it is indeed another gift that she has become the strong young woman she is today. She, too, has been through much. I tried with all I had to shield her from the very worst of what was happening, but she knew. She could see for herself how drugs were affecting her dad. She never used what was happening to us as an excuse not to do her very best, when she could have easily done so. Now, I have almost no fear that she will have a burning desire to experiment with drugs/alcohol--she has already seen first-hand what they will do to you. And it ain't pretty.
Which brings me to the now. I know now that what I have been working for all my life is this moment, when all is laid bare and there is no more hiding from the truth. We have hit rock bottom and have started back up. It won't be easy, but with God as my co-pilot, I can reach my destination...I have found peace.
Today I count my blessings and pray for continued strength . It is well with my soul.
I consider it a gift that God gave me the strength to follow through with my committment to my marriage. "Till death do us part" is a long damn time. But would He have wanted me to abandon my committment when the going got rough? (And believe me--it got ROUGH.) I think not, if only for my daughter's sake. Speaking of whom, it is indeed another gift that she has become the strong young woman she is today. She, too, has been through much. I tried with all I had to shield her from the very worst of what was happening, but she knew. She could see for herself how drugs were affecting her dad. She never used what was happening to us as an excuse not to do her very best, when she could have easily done so. Now, I have almost no fear that she will have a burning desire to experiment with drugs/alcohol--she has already seen first-hand what they will do to you. And it ain't pretty.
Which brings me to the now. I know now that what I have been working for all my life is this moment, when all is laid bare and there is no more hiding from the truth. We have hit rock bottom and have started back up. It won't be easy, but with God as my co-pilot, I can reach my destination...I have found peace.
Today I count my blessings and pray for continued strength . It is well with my soul.
Sunday, March 05, 2006
The Random Rant
Here is a random rant for you. It's a "pressure release" mechanism for trying not to let all the little things get me down. This was a decidedly UN-relaxing weekend.
Saturday, my daughter called and said her car had overheated. (You will remember that she is in college at LSU in Baton Rouge--a good 3 1/2 hour drive, one way.) Okay, so I get on the internet and find repair shops and towing services in Baton Rouge. But it's too late in the evening for any of them to be open. So I tell her to make sure the people who own the parking lot where she stopped the car know that she will have to leave her car there overnight.
Then, a member of our Sunday School class calls to tell us that there is a potluck dinner right after church. It will be fun, it always is, but I don't have anything to make a lucky pot of. So a trip to WallyWor.ld is a must. NOT fun.
Get home. Bake a casserole. Go to bed.
Get up. Go to church. Run home to change clothes. Go to the potluck dinner. Run back home, get laundry started. Get on the phone to try to arrange towing/repair for the car, call daughter and tell her of the arrangements. Squeeze in a 45 minute nap. Get up , put laundry in the dryer. Eat hamburgers husband grilled for supper. Take laundry out of the dryer, fold, and put away. Load the dishwasher and clean the counters.
Decide to update blog (at last a minute to MYSELF!).
I realize that I have absolutely NO idea whether anything earth-shaking has happened over the last two days. I'm sure they are still fighting in Iraq, as they have been for CENTURIES. There are still political scandals simmering, and crimes of all kinds being committed. And all I can think about is what kind of week I will have at my two jobs and how much the car repair is going to cost.
Seems like we just can't catch a break...
Saturday, my daughter called and said her car had overheated. (You will remember that she is in college at LSU in Baton Rouge--a good 3 1/2 hour drive, one way.) Okay, so I get on the internet and find repair shops and towing services in Baton Rouge. But it's too late in the evening for any of them to be open. So I tell her to make sure the people who own the parking lot where she stopped the car know that she will have to leave her car there overnight.
Then, a member of our Sunday School class calls to tell us that there is a potluck dinner right after church. It will be fun, it always is, but I don't have anything to make a lucky pot of. So a trip to WallyWor.ld is a must. NOT fun.
Get home. Bake a casserole. Go to bed.
Get up. Go to church. Run home to change clothes. Go to the potluck dinner. Run back home, get laundry started. Get on the phone to try to arrange towing/repair for the car, call daughter and tell her of the arrangements. Squeeze in a 45 minute nap. Get up , put laundry in the dryer. Eat hamburgers husband grilled for supper. Take laundry out of the dryer, fold, and put away. Load the dishwasher and clean the counters.
Decide to update blog (at last a minute to MYSELF!).
I realize that I have absolutely NO idea whether anything earth-shaking has happened over the last two days. I'm sure they are still fighting in Iraq, as they have been for CENTURIES. There are still political scandals simmering, and crimes of all kinds being committed. And all I can think about is what kind of week I will have at my two jobs and how much the car repair is going to cost.
Seems like we just can't catch a break...
Sunday, February 26, 2006
The Long Lost "Sister"
Yeah, it's been awhile. It's been real crazy, since I took this (second) job. Now, I wonder if I have stepped over the line as far as what I am capable of. I have never been quite so tired in all my life. I once went through a tough period when I had to have three jobs, but I am *several* years older and I am afraid that having two jobs is going to kick my butt. We shall see...
But I didn't come to whine. I came to tell you a story about the Long Lost "Sister". When I was 7 or 8 years old, my parents took in a newborn cousin of mine to raise until her mother became able to care for her again. When she was 5 1/2 years old, her mother came for her and I never saw her again. My brother recently found a reference expressing her sympathy for our mother's death on an abandoned weblog of hers. I posted a comment--even though the blog was obviously not being actively maintained--and was really surprised when she emailed me! I had always wondered whatever became of her. It's been really weird. Like finding a long-lost "sister" after more than 30 years!!! I can't tell you how happy I am to have made contact with her! She lives in Missouri and has four children--one of whom is the same age as my daughter.
The link I provided in the title will take you to her current website, Antiquated and Obsessed, where she has posted some photos I sent her from the time she lived with us. Check out her Feb. 20, 2006 entry. (Don't laugh too hard at my glasses--remember the photos were taken in the early 1970's!!)
But I didn't come to whine. I came to tell you a story about the Long Lost "Sister". When I was 7 or 8 years old, my parents took in a newborn cousin of mine to raise until her mother became able to care for her again. When she was 5 1/2 years old, her mother came for her and I never saw her again. My brother recently found a reference expressing her sympathy for our mother's death on an abandoned weblog of hers. I posted a comment--even though the blog was obviously not being actively maintained--and was really surprised when she emailed me! I had always wondered whatever became of her. It's been really weird. Like finding a long-lost "sister" after more than 30 years!!! I can't tell you how happy I am to have made contact with her! She lives in Missouri and has four children--one of whom is the same age as my daughter.
The link I provided in the title will take you to her current website, Antiquated and Obsessed, where she has posted some photos I sent her from the time she lived with us. Check out her Feb. 20, 2006 entry. (Don't laugh too hard at my glasses--remember the photos were taken in the early 1970's!!)
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Now What?
I got the job...NOW WHAT? My rational mind knows that without this second job, we are never going to make it. My heart says "What the hell have you done???" My hubby is in college full-time and spending around $90/week to commute. My salary pays our cellular bill, his probation and parole costs, our storage unit costs, car insurance on three cars, and two credit card bills. Last month, we also had to pay a speeding ticket. This month, no speeding ticket...but a car repair bill and a tire replacement. And prescriptions to the tune of $100/month.
I need this job. But can I handle it? When I was younger, I once held three jobs. I know for a fact I wouldn't be able to do that, now.
I'm very tired. And I still have laundry to fold/hang up from the dryer and the dishwasher to unload. Please remember me in your prayers.
I need this job. But can I handle it? When I was younger, I once held three jobs. I know for a fact I wouldn't be able to do that, now.
I'm very tired. And I still have laundry to fold/hang up from the dryer and the dishwasher to unload. Please remember me in your prayers.
Saturday, February 11, 2006
In Small Town, 'Grease' Ignites a Culture War
In Small Town, 'Grease' Ignites a Culture War - New York Times
I read this story with great sadness. I was sure I lived in the very last "head-in-the-sand" community in America. I was wrong.
Wake-up, Fulton! Banning this play or that stage production is NOT going to prevent teenagers from experimenting with drugs (including your basic legal ones, cigarettes and alcohol) and it isn't going to stop them from what we used to call "fooling around", our generation's outdated term for having sex. It's going to happen, unless you cloister every teen until they reach the age of majority. (Resourceful ones, though, would still find a way...)
So, here's what I suggest. Encourage this teacher to continue to produce high-quality productions. Then, in the privacy of your homes and churches discuss why certain behaviors depicted in movies, plays, and on television should be avoided. But don't fall into the trap of trying to prevent undesirable activities by limiting what can be presented through creative outlets. Because, guess what? Those activities are going to happen ANYWAY. And, trying to ban the activity by banning the productions that portray it is evidence of what a truly small-minded community you really are. (Not unlike the rural Louisiana town where I live. I would expect that from parent groups and religious organizations in my area.)
Get over it. And get your collective heads out of the sand!
I read this story with great sadness. I was sure I lived in the very last "head-in-the-sand" community in America. I was wrong.
Wake-up, Fulton! Banning this play or that stage production is NOT going to prevent teenagers from experimenting with drugs (including your basic legal ones, cigarettes and alcohol) and it isn't going to stop them from what we used to call "fooling around", our generation's outdated term for having sex. It's going to happen, unless you cloister every teen until they reach the age of majority. (Resourceful ones, though, would still find a way...)
So, here's what I suggest. Encourage this teacher to continue to produce high-quality productions. Then, in the privacy of your homes and churches discuss why certain behaviors depicted in movies, plays, and on television should be avoided. But don't fall into the trap of trying to prevent undesirable activities by limiting what can be presented through creative outlets. Because, guess what? Those activities are going to happen ANYWAY. And, trying to ban the activity by banning the productions that portray it is evidence of what a truly small-minded community you really are. (Not unlike the rural Louisiana town where I live. I would expect that from parent groups and religious organizations in my area.)
Get over it. And get your collective heads out of the sand!
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
What a LONG, STRANGE Trip It's Been...
Crazy...that's me!
Now I will fill you in on what's been going on. I just came from a job interview for a part-time job after work. (Go ahead and say it. I'm crazy and I know it.) I think I got the job, as an after-school tutor. It will only be for a couple of hours each day, so it won't be too bad. And the pay is out of this world. $15/hour! That's more per hour than I make at my primary job--I make $9.25/hour there, but I'm not about to give up that job. I worked too hard to GET it!
The reason I seem to have taken leave of my senses is that spouse has gone back to college full-time. Fully paid for by Vocational Rehabilitation. (Did you know that drug addiction is a disability? And he found out last summer that he is a diabetic, also a disability.) He is working on finishing his Associate of Science degree, so that he can become a certified medical laboratory technician. He only has about a year to go, with the college credits he already had on his transcripts.
But that leaves us in dire straits financially, especially given the fines and probation costs we now have to pay every month, hence my needing a second job. Also, it goes without saying that we will be living with his parents awhile longer.
I can do this, I know.
So, the roller coaster of life makes another twist. (I always hated roller coasters, though.)
And that line from "Truckin'" by the Grateful Dead is stuck in my head:
WHAT A LONG, STRANGE TRIP IT'S BEEN...
Now I will fill you in on what's been going on. I just came from a job interview for a part-time job after work. (Go ahead and say it. I'm crazy and I know it.) I think I got the job, as an after-school tutor. It will only be for a couple of hours each day, so it won't be too bad. And the pay is out of this world. $15/hour! That's more per hour than I make at my primary job--I make $9.25/hour there, but I'm not about to give up that job. I worked too hard to GET it!
The reason I seem to have taken leave of my senses is that spouse has gone back to college full-time. Fully paid for by Vocational Rehabilitation. (Did you know that drug addiction is a disability? And he found out last summer that he is a diabetic, also a disability.) He is working on finishing his Associate of Science degree, so that he can become a certified medical laboratory technician. He only has about a year to go, with the college credits he already had on his transcripts.
But that leaves us in dire straits financially, especially given the fines and probation costs we now have to pay every month, hence my needing a second job. Also, it goes without saying that we will be living with his parents awhile longer.
I can do this, I know.
So, the roller coaster of life makes another twist. (I always hated roller coasters, though.)
And that line from "Truckin'" by the Grateful Dead is stuck in my head:
WHAT A LONG, STRANGE TRIP IT'S BEEN...
Sunday, January 29, 2006
Global Warming
Global Warming has been "pooh-poohed" for as long as I can remember. But hear this: It is January 29. And it is 74 degrees right now, at 2:15 p.m. Midwinter! You can't tell me that Global Warming is a myth!
I remember when I was a kid, when the parish fair rolled around every year in October, we had to wear jackets because we were feeling that first "nip" in the air. And January and February invariably brought plenty of cold wind and rain, but also some ice and the occasional snow flurry. And every few years, we would even have enough snow for an inch or so to accumulate.
Those days--for better or worse--appear to be gone.
The 2005 hurricane season set lots of records. The most named storms in a year and the most actual hurricanes. The highest death toll from Katrina, one of the two major storms to hit our state. (The other being Rita, which of course has been forgotten because it did not flood a major metropolis and result in serious loss of life.)
I predict that the 2006 hurricane season will make 2005 look like a walk in the park. "Why?", you ask. It's because Global Warming has so disturbed the natural cycle of cooling and heating, that the warm waters of the Gulf of Mexico have never cooled sufficiently this winter to prevent monster storms from forming. Mark my words--it's gonna be a doozie!
Another kind of fallout is that it's going to be the worst season ever for mosquitoes and the dreaded West Nile Virus. We depend upon cold weather to keep the mosquito population in check. It just hasn't happened this year (or for the last several, in fact).
And on a personal note, I feel like I've been gypped. I LOVE cold weather. I don't get to enjoy any bracing cold air anymore, ever. Oh, it's "comfortable" enough right now. Maybe I shouldn't complain. But I really like feeling the icy air flowing deep into my lungs. Frosty mornings really gave me great joy. I've seen 2 so far this winter. ***Sighs***
Later, people...
I remember when I was a kid, when the parish fair rolled around every year in October, we had to wear jackets because we were feeling that first "nip" in the air. And January and February invariably brought plenty of cold wind and rain, but also some ice and the occasional snow flurry. And every few years, we would even have enough snow for an inch or so to accumulate.
Those days--for better or worse--appear to be gone.
The 2005 hurricane season set lots of records. The most named storms in a year and the most actual hurricanes. The highest death toll from Katrina, one of the two major storms to hit our state. (The other being Rita, which of course has been forgotten because it did not flood a major metropolis and result in serious loss of life.)
I predict that the 2006 hurricane season will make 2005 look like a walk in the park. "Why?", you ask. It's because Global Warming has so disturbed the natural cycle of cooling and heating, that the warm waters of the Gulf of Mexico have never cooled sufficiently this winter to prevent monster storms from forming. Mark my words--it's gonna be a doozie!
Another kind of fallout is that it's going to be the worst season ever for mosquitoes and the dreaded West Nile Virus. We depend upon cold weather to keep the mosquito population in check. It just hasn't happened this year (or for the last several, in fact).
And on a personal note, I feel like I've been gypped. I LOVE cold weather. I don't get to enjoy any bracing cold air anymore, ever. Oh, it's "comfortable" enough right now. Maybe I shouldn't complain. But I really like feeling the icy air flowing deep into my lungs. Frosty mornings really gave me great joy. I've seen 2 so far this winter. ***Sighs***
Later, people...
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Life is Short
Have you ever snorted so much cocaine that your nose bled? And been in debt to the supplier for several thousand dollars, promising him the moon so he would "front" you a little more to try to sell it for his money? Have you ever been on your hands and knees looking at every white speck on the floor, hoping that it would turn out to be a rock that could be put into a crack pipe and smoked?
I have. It was horrible. I feel extremely privileged to have lived to tell about it. God isn't finished with us, yet.
Now in our forties, drugs dominated our entire adult lives. Alcohol, pot, cocaine, crystal meth, diet pills, crack cocaine, and narcotic painkillers. Law enforcement finally stepped in last year and put a stop to it. My husband and daughter are both full-time college students, now! (Praise God!) We are living with my husband's parents while he finishes his Associate of Science degree, so he can become a certified medical laboratory technician. For the very first time in my life, I feel cautiously optimistic.
God is good. Please continue to keep us in your prayers.
I have. It was horrible. I feel extremely privileged to have lived to tell about it. God isn't finished with us, yet.
Now in our forties, drugs dominated our entire adult lives. Alcohol, pot, cocaine, crystal meth, diet pills, crack cocaine, and narcotic painkillers. Law enforcement finally stepped in last year and put a stop to it. My husband and daughter are both full-time college students, now! (Praise God!) We are living with my husband's parents while he finishes his Associate of Science degree, so he can become a certified medical laboratory technician. For the very first time in my life, I feel cautiously optimistic.
God is good. Please continue to keep us in your prayers.
Sunday, January 22, 2006
Legislating Morality
Nowhere in the Bible is drinking (alcohol) condemned. Jesus Christ, himself, turned water into wine in one of his first miracles. Public drunkenness and drinking to excess, however, are considered sins...
I begin this post in this way to justify my utter disgust that the proposition which would have allowed alcohol sales in the extreme eastern district of our parish was defeated. In typical "head-in-the-sand" fashion, the church groups got together and convinced enough people that allowing alcohol sales would produce a spike in the number of alcohol-related traffic accidents and fatalities. Not to mention that allowing the sale of alcoholic beverages would likely make it more easily obtainable by underage teenagers.
HOGWASH!!
Banning the sale of alcohol NEVER kept anyone from drinking...they just have to drive to the next parish and spend their tax dollars THERE, instead! And the underage teens who want to drink are still going to sneak into their parents' liquor cabinet and do it!!
What banning alcohol sales WILL do is keep this area economically depressed. No chance of new entertainment businesses rolling in needing to hire new employees, is there? And "entertainment" doesn't have to mean strip clubs. Family restaurants that also sell alcohol enjoy greater revenue flow than those that don't. A few local nightclubs featuring rock or country music might actually keep impaired drivers from having to travel long distances home.
But maybe that's the goal of these radical religious groups...control of the population by controlling their options for recreation?? (We don't even get to have a movie theater!)
It's really quite sad.
I begin this post in this way to justify my utter disgust that the proposition which would have allowed alcohol sales in the extreme eastern district of our parish was defeated. In typical "head-in-the-sand" fashion, the church groups got together and convinced enough people that allowing alcohol sales would produce a spike in the number of alcohol-related traffic accidents and fatalities. Not to mention that allowing the sale of alcoholic beverages would likely make it more easily obtainable by underage teenagers.
HOGWASH!!
Banning the sale of alcohol NEVER kept anyone from drinking...they just have to drive to the next parish and spend their tax dollars THERE, instead! And the underage teens who want to drink are still going to sneak into their parents' liquor cabinet and do it!!
What banning alcohol sales WILL do is keep this area economically depressed. No chance of new entertainment businesses rolling in needing to hire new employees, is there? And "entertainment" doesn't have to mean strip clubs. Family restaurants that also sell alcohol enjoy greater revenue flow than those that don't. A few local nightclubs featuring rock or country music might actually keep impaired drivers from having to travel long distances home.
But maybe that's the goal of these radical religious groups...control of the population by controlling their options for recreation?? (We don't even get to have a movie theater!)
It's really quite sad.
Monday, January 16, 2006
The American Judicial System
I just watched the most disturbing video on the news of teenage boys beating a homeless man. Some of the boys involved are now in police custody.
My question is: Why does there have to be a trial??
At taxpayer expense, we are going to see some slick attorney try to convince a jury that these boys are not guilty of something that was captured quite clearly on videotape! Or that there were "mitigating circumstances" which led up to the incident.
BALONEY! The founding fathers, when they designed our system of trial by jury, did so to protect innocent people accused and charged with crimes based on purely circumstantial evidence.
They never dreamed that a device might be created that captured images of crimes in progress--namely, the video camera. I believe if they had envisioned such a thing, they would have made changes in our judicial system. Someone who is caught in the act or who has been
captured on videotape committing a crime can be presumed guilty without the need for a lengthy trial at taxpayer expense. *In other words--innocent until proven guilty would NOT APPLY!! A trial, then, would serve the sole purpose of determining what a fair punishment would be!
I like it. What do you think??
My question is: Why does there have to be a trial??
At taxpayer expense, we are going to see some slick attorney try to convince a jury that these boys are not guilty of something that was captured quite clearly on videotape! Or that there were "mitigating circumstances" which led up to the incident.
BALONEY! The founding fathers, when they designed our system of trial by jury, did so to protect innocent people accused and charged with crimes based on purely circumstantial evidence.
They never dreamed that a device might be created that captured images of crimes in progress--namely, the video camera. I believe if they had envisioned such a thing, they would have made changes in our judicial system. Someone who is caught in the act or who has been
captured on videotape committing a crime can be presumed guilty without the need for a lengthy trial at taxpayer expense. *In other words--innocent until proven guilty would NOT APPLY!! A trial, then, would serve the sole purpose of determining what a fair punishment would be!
I like it. What do you think??
Sunday, January 15, 2006
Suicide by Cop
By now, you've all heard the news about the 8th grader who was shot by SWAT team members. The news media has picked up on the fact that the boy's parents tried to tell police that the gun was very likely a fake. And like the rabid dogs they are, they just won't let go. They are determined to try to make it look like the SWAT officers, through an error in judgement, caused the death of an innocent young man.
But let's focus for a moment on the actions of the law enforcement officers. They saw a young man brandishing what looked like a 9mm pistol. He pointed it at classmates, he pointed it at himself, he pointed it at officers...and he was shot. Which is what had to happen. Because he painted over the markings designed to identify it as a non-lethal weapon; and it was assumed that the pistol was real and that he intended to use it to kill someone. It is irrelevant whether the parents "suspected" it was a pellet pistol. The cops would have been negligent had they NOT taken the action that they did, especially had the gun been real and others died because of it. They did their jobs and whether we like it or not, they did their jobs WELL.
Why on earth would this young man paint over the markings on the barrel of the gun that were designed to identify it as a non-lethal weapon???
Because he was suicidal. He wanted to die. And therein lies the true tragedy. No one--not the parents, his teachers, or his friends-- saw any warning signs that would have enabled them to get this boy the help he needed. My prayers for peace and comfort are with them in their tremendous loss.
But I have also offered up a prayer on behalf of the SWAT officer who pulled the trigger. He will never forget that he shot a young man for pointing a pellet pistol in his direction. He did what he had to do. And I hope that he knows how much we appreciate a job well done. May God grant him peace within his soul, too. He did the right thing--the ONLY thing that could have been done in that terrible and difficult situation.
God bless you, sir.
But let's focus for a moment on the actions of the law enforcement officers. They saw a young man brandishing what looked like a 9mm pistol. He pointed it at classmates, he pointed it at himself, he pointed it at officers...and he was shot. Which is what had to happen. Because he painted over the markings designed to identify it as a non-lethal weapon; and it was assumed that the pistol was real and that he intended to use it to kill someone. It is irrelevant whether the parents "suspected" it was a pellet pistol. The cops would have been negligent had they NOT taken the action that they did, especially had the gun been real and others died because of it. They did their jobs and whether we like it or not, they did their jobs WELL.
Why on earth would this young man paint over the markings on the barrel of the gun that were designed to identify it as a non-lethal weapon???
Because he was suicidal. He wanted to die. And therein lies the true tragedy. No one--not the parents, his teachers, or his friends-- saw any warning signs that would have enabled them to get this boy the help he needed. My prayers for peace and comfort are with them in their tremendous loss.
But I have also offered up a prayer on behalf of the SWAT officer who pulled the trigger. He will never forget that he shot a young man for pointing a pellet pistol in his direction. He did what he had to do. And I hope that he knows how much we appreciate a job well done. May God grant him peace within his soul, too. He did the right thing--the ONLY thing that could have been done in that terrible and difficult situation.
God bless you, sir.
Saturday, January 07, 2006
It's All a Big Mystery...
It's all a big mystery...why do bad things happen to good people? That's been the question for all millenia. I felt so much sorrow for the families of the 12 miners who were killed in the mining accident this week--talk about being jerked around. ("Miscommunication", my ass.) Also, I think the mine owners should be brought up on charges if the investigation reveals that the 200+ safety violations had gone uncorrected...that would make them guilty of negligent homicide.
What a way to start 2006!
My first week of the new year was not bad at all. I got to see my father and brother for several days right before New Year's Day, and they were both doing well. My dad has become quite a good cook since my mom died. He had turkey and dressing waiting for us when we got there! I was really impressed. Now, when I got back to work, I had to play "catch-up" but even that wasn't too awful. Got most of it done, and what I had to leave undone will be there when I get back after the weekend, won't it?
I just haven't had a chance to bring my blog up to date on some things: Right before Christmas, my husband had his final court appearance on his drug charges. In October, he pled guilty and was admitted into an intensive program called "Drug Court". It involves court-ordered meetings 3 evenings each week, including urine testing at least once each week, AND an appearance before a judge 1 morning each week to discuss the urine screen and other issues related to recovery, AND must make 3 NA or AA meetings each week. Pretty intense. But his actual sentencing was 2 days before Christmas. He was given 5 years at hard labor, suspended, 5 years of supervised probation and fines totaling around $2500. And he has to continue and successfully complete all three phases of "Drug Court". If he does ALL of these things, they will remove the felony conviction from his record.
And so, life goes on....(but at least now, we have hit rock bottom and started back up!)
What a way to start 2006!
My first week of the new year was not bad at all. I got to see my father and brother for several days right before New Year's Day, and they were both doing well. My dad has become quite a good cook since my mom died. He had turkey and dressing waiting for us when we got there! I was really impressed. Now, when I got back to work, I had to play "catch-up" but even that wasn't too awful. Got most of it done, and what I had to leave undone will be there when I get back after the weekend, won't it?
I just haven't had a chance to bring my blog up to date on some things: Right before Christmas, my husband had his final court appearance on his drug charges. In October, he pled guilty and was admitted into an intensive program called "Drug Court". It involves court-ordered meetings 3 evenings each week, including urine testing at least once each week, AND an appearance before a judge 1 morning each week to discuss the urine screen and other issues related to recovery, AND must make 3 NA or AA meetings each week. Pretty intense. But his actual sentencing was 2 days before Christmas. He was given 5 years at hard labor, suspended, 5 years of supervised probation and fines totaling around $2500. And he has to continue and successfully complete all three phases of "Drug Court". If he does ALL of these things, they will remove the felony conviction from his record.
And so, life goes on....(but at least now, we have hit rock bottom and started back up!)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)