The semester ended yesterday. It has not been a good one for my daughter. She feels fairly certain she failed two finals and, as of last night had not turned in an unknown number of papers that were due, meaning she may have failed two courses. I didn't become aware of how serious the problem was until about a week ago.
This is from a kid who graduated high school with a 4.0 average.
I chewed on her pretty good. Too late, I know, but this can't happen again. If she loses her TOPS award (the state pays tuition), it's going to be bad. I don't know how we can afford her last 3 semesters of college. She cried and said some hateful things, but I think I needed to say the things I did.
The problem? Boyfriend, of course. We met the guy at Easter, and he seems really good to her, but relationship maintenance takes effort. Effort that ought to have been directed at meeting the demands of her classes. Nothing is more important than that at this point in her life--not the need for companionship, not the need to relax---NOTHING. I want her to have a better life than I've had. Substance abuse issues aside, I have worked HARD all my life...this isn't the first time I have had more than one job. I once held THREE (a full-time and two part-time positions)! I never want her to have to live that way.
So, how do I get her back on track??? She is shutting me out, now. She is short with me on the phone, and only answers the questions I specifically ask. The whole deal has left me angry, sad, upset, depressed, worried sick.
And I don't know what to do about it. She'll be 21 this month, technically I can't TELL her what to do.
But she still depends on me to help manage her finances, and she's driving a car I bought with insurance that I pay for. Maybe that will give me some leverage?