Please don't be offended by my wishing everyone Merry Christmas. I welcome everyone to wish me a "Happy" or "Merry" Whatever-Their-Holiday-Is! I believe there is too much talk about offending others. Have we as a nation really become that incredibly intolerant and thin-skinned? Gee, I hope not.
C'mon we are supposed to be the nation where "freedom" is equated with "tolerance". We are losing sight of this in a big way!!!!
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Sunday, November 27, 2005
It's FINALLY over!
It's over. One down and one to go. I dread holidays. I find them emotionally draining and stressful. I don't suffer from "holiday" depression, but I don't enjoy all of the forced "good cheer" and I don't look forward to all of the "traditional" activities--I find it all exhausting and I am always ready for it to go away for another year.
I have a dysfunctional family, anyway. My husband, who is a recovering addict (clean for almost 8 months), and I live with his parents--who at one time were addicts themselves (clean for a few years, now). And we were expecting my sister-in-law and her husband for Thanksgiving dinner. They are not former addicts. She is an alcoholic and they are both speed freaks. And they have an 11-year-old son. They didn't make it in time for the big dinner at noon (Are we surprised?), and when they did come late that evening in separate vehicles, around 8 pm, they had some kind of altercation and S-I-L's husband left. The next day, sister-in-law's old friend from high school (another abuser, cocaine) and within an hour of her leaving, my S-I-L also announced that she was going "home". Her son was invited to stay the weekend, and they would meet halfway on Sunday, so he could be back for school on Monday.
Now, it's not his fault he has turned out the way he has....and he didn't ask to have ADHD. But I believe my mother-in-law overcompensates for his less than ideal living conditions by NEVER making any demands on him: EVERYTHING (from taking a bath to wearing clohtes to eating) is a negotiation or compromise of some kind, which he has learned to use to full advantage. He has become a world-class brat.
And the hardest part is that I absolutely CANNOT express any of the opinions contained herein, because I must be appropriately beholden to the in-laws with whom I live. So, is it any wonder that I really don't enjoy this time of the year? Can you blame me for looking forward to going back to work, tomorrow?
Maybe by next year, my situation will be such that my husband's recovery will still be on track and he and I will have been able to get back into a place of our own. Then if I get stressed-out and exhausted, I can just leave....
I have a dysfunctional family, anyway. My husband, who is a recovering addict (clean for almost 8 months), and I live with his parents--who at one time were addicts themselves (clean for a few years, now). And we were expecting my sister-in-law and her husband for Thanksgiving dinner. They are not former addicts. She is an alcoholic and they are both speed freaks. And they have an 11-year-old son. They didn't make it in time for the big dinner at noon (Are we surprised?), and when they did come late that evening in separate vehicles, around 8 pm, they had some kind of altercation and S-I-L's husband left. The next day, sister-in-law's old friend from high school (another abuser, cocaine) and within an hour of her leaving, my S-I-L also announced that she was going "home". Her son was invited to stay the weekend, and they would meet halfway on Sunday, so he could be back for school on Monday.
Now, it's not his fault he has turned out the way he has....and he didn't ask to have ADHD. But I believe my mother-in-law overcompensates for his less than ideal living conditions by NEVER making any demands on him: EVERYTHING (from taking a bath to wearing clohtes to eating) is a negotiation or compromise of some kind, which he has learned to use to full advantage. He has become a world-class brat.
And the hardest part is that I absolutely CANNOT express any of the opinions contained herein, because I must be appropriately beholden to the in-laws with whom I live. So, is it any wonder that I really don't enjoy this time of the year? Can you blame me for looking forward to going back to work, tomorrow?
Maybe by next year, my situation will be such that my husband's recovery will still be on track and he and I will have been able to get back into a place of our own. Then if I get stressed-out and exhausted, I can just leave....
Friday, November 25, 2005
Thoughts on Iraq
In the beginning, there were WMD's. And then there were not.
Three more American souls in Iraq left this earth yesterday, on our national day of giving thanks.
First, I want to expand on something I wrote yesterday. I commented that democracy is ".... the most perfect form of government yet developed by humans to maintain an orderly, civilized society." And I stand by that sentiment. It is a fair, representative form of government which does not rely--indeed will not tolerate--either tyranny or claims of royalty. Once we have chosen our leaders, if they fail to meet our needs and expectations, they are "outta there" once their elected term ends.
However, democratic government is not for every culture. We were deceived as a nation when our leaders entered war with Iraq, claiming that they possessed weapons of mass destruction. That "untruth" could almost be forgiven when our goal became one of deposing and capturing Saddam Hussein for his war crimes and crimes against humanity. Mission accomplished. Now, here's where I really begin to have a problem.
I was fine with the first goal, but I felt the government had in mind the second goal all along and should have leveled with the American public from Day 1. Now we are determined to "help" Iraq set up a democratic government, something I don't believe they want or are capable of sustaining. The different factions of their government--the Sunnis, the Shiites, the Kurds, and all the rest--don't get along. They NEVER HAVE! And they aren't going to start "getting along" just because we tell them to! They have been fighting amongst themselves for centuries. That's HUNDREDS of years! They don't WANT to be governed in a fair, democratic way.
Bring our soldiers home. We can't force the Iraqis to embrace what we hold most precious in our government. We risk becoming mired in a conflict we CANNOT WIN, because it has already been in progress for longer than any of us have been ALIVE!
We have been "global playground bullies" long enough. We have urgent issues at home that need to be dealt with. It's time to take care of ourselves. Bring our soldiers HOME.
Three more American souls in Iraq left this earth yesterday, on our national day of giving thanks.
First, I want to expand on something I wrote yesterday. I commented that democracy is ".... the most perfect form of government yet developed by humans to maintain an orderly, civilized society." And I stand by that sentiment. It is a fair, representative form of government which does not rely--indeed will not tolerate--either tyranny or claims of royalty. Once we have chosen our leaders, if they fail to meet our needs and expectations, they are "outta there" once their elected term ends.
However, democratic government is not for every culture. We were deceived as a nation when our leaders entered war with Iraq, claiming that they possessed weapons of mass destruction. That "untruth" could almost be forgiven when our goal became one of deposing and capturing Saddam Hussein for his war crimes and crimes against humanity. Mission accomplished. Now, here's where I really begin to have a problem.
I was fine with the first goal, but I felt the government had in mind the second goal all along and should have leveled with the American public from Day 1. Now we are determined to "help" Iraq set up a democratic government, something I don't believe they want or are capable of sustaining. The different factions of their government--the Sunnis, the Shiites, the Kurds, and all the rest--don't get along. They NEVER HAVE! And they aren't going to start "getting along" just because we tell them to! They have been fighting amongst themselves for centuries. That's HUNDREDS of years! They don't WANT to be governed in a fair, democratic way.
Bring our soldiers home. We can't force the Iraqis to embrace what we hold most precious in our government. We risk becoming mired in a conflict we CANNOT WIN, because it has already been in progress for longer than any of us have been ALIVE!
We have been "global playground bullies" long enough. We have urgent issues at home that need to be dealt with. It's time to take care of ourselves. Bring our soldiers HOME.
Thursday, November 24, 2005
Thanksgiving, Thank God!
So, where does an athiest direct his expressions of thankfulness on Thanksgiving?
This question has been ricocheting around the inside of my skull today, as I offered my thanks to the Almighty God. I have so very much to be thankful for this year (even though a LOT of bad stuff happened during the year)....and it makes me so angry that there is such a frenzy to remove all references to Him from every facet of our daily lives.
Now, I am no Bible-thumping religious zealot. I don't even go to church. Ever. But I consider myself a Christian and believe in the one true God. I don't however subscribe to the notion that there is ony one "true" religion, despite having been raised that very way! My faith in God is not dependent upon my practicing any certain religion in any certain way, it is a private and personal thing. It is between me and God, Himself.
The current drive to remove "under God" from our pledge of allegiance and "In God We Trust" from our currency, stands to tear an enormous hole in the fabric from which our country was woven. To the athiests I say: Read your American history again. This country was founded by people who came to this continent to escape religious persecution. They didn't want to be forced to practice religion in a certain way. They wanted to be free to profess their faith in any way they chose...and they all had a faith to profess!!
And so, the government founded by these people contained a strong element of faith without religion. This is how it should be. Athiests must not be allowed to dismantle the elements of the most perfect form of government yet developed by humans to maintain an orderly, civilized society. If they are offended by the foundation upon which our government is built--well, the door to the world stands wide open...thank God!
This question has been ricocheting around the inside of my skull today, as I offered my thanks to the Almighty God. I have so very much to be thankful for this year (even though a LOT of bad stuff happened during the year)....and it makes me so angry that there is such a frenzy to remove all references to Him from every facet of our daily lives.
Now, I am no Bible-thumping religious zealot. I don't even go to church. Ever. But I consider myself a Christian and believe in the one true God. I don't however subscribe to the notion that there is ony one "true" religion, despite having been raised that very way! My faith in God is not dependent upon my practicing any certain religion in any certain way, it is a private and personal thing. It is between me and God, Himself.
The current drive to remove "under God" from our pledge of allegiance and "In God We Trust" from our currency, stands to tear an enormous hole in the fabric from which our country was woven. To the athiests I say: Read your American history again. This country was founded by people who came to this continent to escape religious persecution. They didn't want to be forced to practice religion in a certain way. They wanted to be free to profess their faith in any way they chose...and they all had a faith to profess!!
And so, the government founded by these people contained a strong element of faith without religion. This is how it should be. Athiests must not be allowed to dismantle the elements of the most perfect form of government yet developed by humans to maintain an orderly, civilized society. If they are offended by the foundation upon which our government is built--well, the door to the world stands wide open...thank God!
Monday, November 21, 2005
Feeling Fine...
Today, I felt fine. Not depressed, not worried. Slept relatively well (a very rare thing!), so I felt rested. It was a quiet day at work, as it always is just before a major holiday--lots of supervisors out, including one of my two. We will be closed Wed., Thur., and Friday for Thanksgiving, so today and tomorrow are my only days this week to have to work. And Wednesday night, my daughter will get in from college! It's only been a couple of weeks since I have seen her, but that time was only for 2 days. She will be home 4 whole days!
So long for now. Back soon.
Love, Rita
So long for now. Back soon.
Love, Rita
Sunday, November 20, 2005
Time Goes By In a Blur
So, has it really been 4 days since I was here last?? Wow. I knew I had been busy, but I told myself I would add something here every day or two. I bought the car I was debating about. I decided that I couldn't live in fear of my past being discovered, and so I am moving on....
My *new-to-me* car is a black, 2-dr. 1999 Pontiac Sunfire. Maybe I'll post a photo tomorrow. I knew my daughter would be a little jealous of it. Her car overheats if it drives too long, and she really wants another, but right now, my husband and I are struggling just to get to work every day. So, she is going to have to make do with the car she has while she is in college.
And living with my in-laws is the pits... I guess I hadn't mentioned that before, but it really is. (Refer to the previous post for some details of how this came about.) I hate their vacuum cleaner--it weighs a good metric ton, I hate their dogs, I hate their pantry and utility room (major clutter and disarray), and I hate the closet space we have access to. It is really tiny and hard to get clothes in and out of, because of a decorative shelving unit next to it. I sleep on a saggy sleeper sofabed, shored up with folded comforters under the mattress.
But, they deserve much credit for their patience and generosity--they not only have given us a place to live until we get back on our feet, but they also often let us use one of their vehicles so that we could both get to our jobs. There was no way, otherwise: Hubby's job started at 3:30 a.m. and he worked until 10:00 a.m., but my job started at 8:00 a.m. and ends at 4:00 p.m.
This arrangement was only supposed to be for a couple of weeks. Did I mention that time goes by in a blur? We are rounding the corner on six months now. And, did I mention that time goes by in a blur?
So, I leave you now with this thought.
Don't blink because you'll miss something....
Love, Rita
My *new-to-me* car is a black, 2-dr. 1999 Pontiac Sunfire. Maybe I'll post a photo tomorrow. I knew my daughter would be a little jealous of it. Her car overheats if it drives too long, and she really wants another, but right now, my husband and I are struggling just to get to work every day. So, she is going to have to make do with the car she has while she is in college.
And living with my in-laws is the pits... I guess I hadn't mentioned that before, but it really is. (Refer to the previous post for some details of how this came about.) I hate their vacuum cleaner--it weighs a good metric ton, I hate their dogs, I hate their pantry and utility room (major clutter and disarray), and I hate the closet space we have access to. It is really tiny and hard to get clothes in and out of, because of a decorative shelving unit next to it. I sleep on a saggy sleeper sofabed, shored up with folded comforters under the mattress.
But, they deserve much credit for their patience and generosity--they not only have given us a place to live until we get back on our feet, but they also often let us use one of their vehicles so that we could both get to our jobs. There was no way, otherwise: Hubby's job started at 3:30 a.m. and he worked until 10:00 a.m., but my job started at 8:00 a.m. and ends at 4:00 p.m.
This arrangement was only supposed to be for a couple of weeks. Did I mention that time goes by in a blur? We are rounding the corner on six months now. And, did I mention that time goes by in a blur?
So, I leave you now with this thought.
Don't blink because you'll miss something....
Love, Rita
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
And Your Past Will Come Back to Haunt You...
Or so I've always heard. And today, that phrase kept ricocheting around inside my skull. After hitting rock bottom in my private life, and slo-o-o-wly beginning to work myself out of the pit, I find myself gripped by severe anxiety. Will my past come back to haunt me???? Am I getting in over my head financially??
Without going into a bunch of detail, here is why I am worried. In April of this year, I had a near-miss with law enforcement, due to the actions of my significant other. He was convicted of a felony, I was arrested on misdemeanor charges that were never filed with the District Attorney. I was able to keep my job--working as a secretary for a state agency, dealing with the public daily., but every day I wonder if today is going to be the day that my employers find out what has happened. So every day has at least some teeth-grinding. Now, my hubby is working and we need another car. So, I applied for and got an auto loan--through the credit union where I work. So now, if they do find out, I not only will lose my job; I will also become delinquent in my payments, and I will lose the car. AAAUUUUGGGHHH!
Okay, deep breaths. Deeep Breaths. Breathe in, breathe out. There. That's better....
And so ends another day.
Love, Rita
Without going into a bunch of detail, here is why I am worried. In April of this year, I had a near-miss with law enforcement, due to the actions of my significant other. He was convicted of a felony, I was arrested on misdemeanor charges that were never filed with the District Attorney. I was able to keep my job--working as a secretary for a state agency, dealing with the public daily., but every day I wonder if today is going to be the day that my employers find out what has happened. So every day has at least some teeth-grinding. Now, my hubby is working and we need another car. So, I applied for and got an auto loan--through the credit union where I work. So now, if they do find out, I not only will lose my job; I will also become delinquent in my payments, and I will lose the car. AAAUUUUGGGHHH!
Okay, deep breaths. Deeep Breaths. Breathe in, breathe out. There. That's better....
And so ends another day.
Love, Rita
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Tragic, but Wonderful
Hi! What a tragic, and yet wonderful, weekend we had. My husband and I travelled across the state to where our daughter attends college to take her to a rock concert that she has just been dying to see. 3 Doors Down--what an awesome band! One of the few contemporary bands I own CD's by! (I also own 3 Green Day CD's but we will have to analyze that at another time...) Anyway, the concert was cancelled--the drummer's wife went into premature labor and he flew home to be present when his son was born. Admirable, but a real bummer for those of us who had tickets to hear this band perform. What a tragedy.
So, we spent the weekend with her anyway. Took her to a veterans' memorial museum and out to eat, then to a movie. Saw "Jarheads". (What a strange movie. Very sad ending.) And we had a really good time with her. So it turned out to be a wonderful weekend, after all, just not what we had expected.
Today was SO peaceful. Neither of my supervisors (I have two) made any unexpected requests of me, so I actually got a lot of work done! It's so great, being able to set my own priorities for each day, and then actually accomplishing all I set out to do! AND I get to listen to my favorite music (at a very low volume, of course), since I don't share space with any of my coworkers. At the risk of sounding like a "nerd", I love my job!
Does anybody use the word "nerd" anymore?
Well, away I go.
Love, Rita
So, we spent the weekend with her anyway. Took her to a veterans' memorial museum and out to eat, then to a movie. Saw "Jarheads". (What a strange movie. Very sad ending.) And we had a really good time with her. So it turned out to be a wonderful weekend, after all, just not what we had expected.
Today was SO peaceful. Neither of my supervisors (I have two) made any unexpected requests of me, so I actually got a lot of work done! It's so great, being able to set my own priorities for each day, and then actually accomplishing all I set out to do! AND I get to listen to my favorite music (at a very low volume, of course), since I don't share space with any of my coworkers. At the risk of sounding like a "nerd", I love my job!
Does anybody use the word "nerd" anymore?
Well, away I go.
Love, Rita
Saturday, November 12, 2005
HELLO! I'm new here.
Welcome to my world! I wish you were here, but since you aren't I will give you my take on things as I see them. You may smile, you may cry, you may get angry. It's all okay. And if you don't like what you see, then leave. It won't hurt my feelings at all. (I only want you to be here if you WANT to be here.
The first item on my agenda is Hurricane Rita. Living in one of the areas affected heavily by this storm, I want to say how neglected I feel. The national media grossly underreported how much devastation this storm wreaked. Cameron Parish was leveled. All of it. Three schools have reopened, that's it. So they are serving students who may, in fact, still be homeless! But you NEVER hear anything about it on the news anymore. New Orleans seems to be the only place still affected by storm damage. (Sorry, Mississippi, you're out of luck, too, it seems.)
Okay, enough of that for now. See you soon!
Love, Rita
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