Happy New Year to You!!

Christmas is two days behind us now. We had a very good Christmas this year, but it has left all of us drained. We are all so-o-o-o-o tired. Tomorrow my husband, my daughter, and I are all going to go to Houston to visit my dad and brother. So, in spite of being very tired, I had to do the Wally World thing and wash clothes and pack.

Today, a friend called to ask for a ride to an appointment. So, I gave her a lift. Then, as a result of my kindness, I got drawn into her side of a conflict in her family. NOT where I wanted to be! Seems her hubby got his mother to come get him from the drug rehab facility where he has been, due to an altercation that he got into there. But the two of them neglected to tell my friend! She took it personally, of course. And to make matters worse, he started using again LESS THAN 24 HOURS AFTER LEAVING REHAB. What a dumbass. But, I love both of these people, my friend and her hubby (who was really a friend of mine before she was). I just hope he can get straight before I find myself attending his funeral....

As a result of our trip, I will not be able to post again until early January. So, HAPPY NEW YEAR! (Is it still politically correct to say that??? I lose track of what's okay from day to day.)

Stay safe. PLEASE, don't drink and drive. And DON'T DO DRUGS!! PLEASE!!!

Prohibition: Finally Coming to an End??

Yes, you read that right. Alcohol prohibition, for most of the nation, ended in 1933. (See the article located in the title link.) Where I live, however, prohibition came back in 1976 with a "local option election". The abundance of churches and their "bible thumpers" ensured that the alcohol sales would be prohibited in the parish.

I have always opposed any attempt to legislate morality. In other words, you might be able to prohibit the sale of alcohol, but you won't be able to stop legal adults from drinking. You will, however, be able to force them to drive a greater distance for liquor--and possibly while already having indulged--increasing their risk of causing or being involved in a fatal accident.

The era of prohibition in Beauregard Parish is ending, thanks in part to the Louisiana Attorney General whose interpretation of the law will move Beauregard Parish out of the past and into the present.

21st Century, here we come!!

So, Here We Are

Many days have gone by since my last post, and much has happened.

The most significant thing is that my incredible daughter has finished her finals, her first semester of college, and come home--sort of. She came home, but left the next morning to spend a few days with a (male) friend in Arkansas. (Am I crazy??? Yeah, maybe. But we have had that talk, more than once, and I believe she is aware that sex, even one time-unprotected, can ruin her life in more ways than one, NOT counting pregnancy. So, I'm more worried that she will have car trouble or be involved in an accident than of her coming home pregnant.) She's earned a few days away from school AND family. She'll be home a few days before Christmas, and stay until the next semester begins around the middle of January. She finished the semester with two A's and two B's.

The next most signigicant event: I AM FINISHED WORKING UNTIL JANUARY 3! Hooray! My office will be open three days the week after Christmas, but I asked both of my supervisors for those days and January 2 off, and they both agreed. So I will have more than 2 weeks off and use only four days of my annual leave. As the younger generations says, "SWEET!"

So, now I have to concentrate on finishing the Christmas shopping. Hope everyone out there has as wonderful a Christmas as I intend to have. I hope to have a little more to add tomorrow. Husband goes for sentencing on Friday of this week. We are optimistic that any jail time he would have to serve will be suspended since he has been doing so well on his drug screens (ALL clean) and attending the required 3 outside meetings a week in addition to the 4 weekly meetings of the drug court. Please keep us in your prayers....

Full Moon Frenzy

The full moon. Everything washed in beautiful, pale, silvery light. Luna.

Luna is also the root word for "lunacy".

I had a very bad day at work today. The cycles of the moon affect much more than just the earth's tides. Trust me on this.

When my husband was a bail agent, he always had many times the business during the full moon, people just got into more mischief. Ask any cop. I'll bet you will hear the same thing--during the days leading up to the full moon, many more arrests have to be made.

I can't even begin to tell you. So I'm not even going to try.

Ethics: Would You Read Your Child's Blog?

What would you do?

My 18-year-old daughter left her weblog minimized when she left the computer. If this had been your child, would you have closed it without reading it? Would you have read it? If you would have read it, would you have admitted reading it?

Here is what I did and why.

I read it. But, no, I didn't admit to reading it. I rationalized it this way. Yes, technically she is an adult. She's 18. But she isn't "out on her own" and independent; she is a freshman in college, and I still pay her bills and provide her with a vehicle. I have been given a rare opportunity to help protect her while she tries out her wings. I consider it a gift and I will not take it for granted! I made the conscious decision to keep my discovery of her weblog to myself, so that she can continue to become an independent young woman. I will not meddle in her everyday affairs. But, it's a brand-new world. There are dangers and pitfalls which simply did not exist when I was her age!! I want to be aware if she begins to get into deep trouble or if she does something which may endanger her life. I will reveal myself if I must, but not unless it is a dire emergency.

Example: This is finals week. I found out through her weblog that she had planned a trip to New Orleans this afternoon with some friends . To me, this represents a monumental lapse in good judgement, but not a danger. (Quite frankly, her timing sucks.) She could have spent the entire afternoon studying for her Chemistry final tomorrow. But, part of becoming an adult is making mistakes and accepting the consequences. So, if she does poorly, she will wish she had done the New Orleans trip another time! And the consequence may be that she will have to transfer to the college closer to home, if her grades fall and she loses her scholarships.

We shall see when final grades are posted.

She eventually told me she had gone once they had started back.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
The courage to change the things I can.
And the wisdom to know the difference.

So, what would you have done?

Random Thoughts

The weekend is winding down. My daughter has gone back to Baton Rouge for final exams and I have one more week of work, before Christmas break. When she gets done in B. Rouge, she is going to go to Arkansas for a few days to see a friend there, and be home before Christmas. I don't know if I like the arrangement, but there's very little I can do about it.

We went to a mall yesterday in a city south of here. (The damage from Hurricane Rita was still painfully obvious in every area of the city.) What a mistake. You couldn't take a deep breath without bumping into another human body. I waited in line at one store for almost 40 minutes to check out. It's just not worth it. While I absolutely detest shopping at Wally World, I hated the mall experience even more. Ugh! It was NOT worth the two-hour round trip. Point in Wally World's favor? The local store had "Merry Christmas" painted on both of its entrances.

Bravo! Let's here it for guts. The managers at Wal-Mart are to be commended for NOT caving to popular political agendas that want to eliminate every reference to our dieties from daily life.

Governor Schwarzenegger still has not taken a definite stand on Tookie. I still think his sentence of death should be carried out.

I am so very tired. Merry Christmas to you.

DEEP THOUGHTS ON CATS

Tonight, it's all about cats. Cats--you either love 'em or you hate 'em. (Almost no one is indifferent to them!)

And I happen to love them. All of them. Male or female, long-haired or short-haired, exotic or commonplace. And I found this totally awesome website called "Cats in Sinks" (follow link in title). The whole purpose of this website is to display random pictures of cats...in sinks and/or basins. Everytime you refresh the page, you get a different cat. Isn't that great!!

Most of the people who say they hate cats really don't hate cats, they hate the aloofness and independence of cats. They feel that any animal which we invite into our lives should be appropriately meek, docile, and submissive in order to show its gratitude for our care and attention. People who love cats value the spirit of an animal which has learned to behave in a somewhat civilised fashion, but which refuses to relinquish all of its personality, instincts, and independence.

Okay, so here's a picture of my cat. "Cat" (yes, that's his name) is a 4 year old Balinese cat. He's not much into sinks, but he LOVES boxes--even if he's too big for them, as you can see. And he "nests" in Wal-Mart bags by scooping them all under him, when there are several on the floor, so he can lay down on them. He's a good cat. A little weird, but still a good cat.

Meiaow!

GEOCACHING

Today I went "geocaching", for the first time. (You need a handheld GPS unit. If you've never heard of the sport, follow the link in the title for answers to frequently asked questions.) It was so much fun! Husband had gone once previously and found the first of two "caches" hidden in the same area. He waited until I could go along to locate the second. Wasn't that sweet of him? Anyway, we found the cache--no easy feat, using only coordinates and the GPS unit--and brought the camera back for developing at the request of the person who created this particular cache.

This cache was in a heavily wooded area along a creek, near a small natural cave formation. Likely the ONLY cave in our area. We had visited the cave many years ago, and it was so heartening to see that it hasn't been desecrated or vandalized. It still looks EXACTLY the same as it always has.

And then the rain started. So, I'm glad we got out of the house early and went to the woods when we did.

Yesterday, I went to the Christmas parade and then to the "Miracle on Washington Street" festival downtown, where a did just a little Christmas shopping. Not a bad weekend!!

STANLEY "TOOKIE" WILLIAMS

Just the facts, ma'am.

Stanley "Tookie" Williams was convicted of four murders by a jury of his peers and sentenced to die. In addition, and this is not considered a crime, he founded a gang knowns as the Crips. The Crips gang then became one of the most notorious gangs ever, for its violence and other illegal activity. So, let's do some math. Tookie was convicted of murder--he took four lives. How many Crips members died in clashes with the Bloods? How many young men went down the path to self-destruction and never came back? These were his followers. But their lives were no less valuable than yours and mine--they just happened to choose the WRONG role model... a mistake for which they paid with their lives.

They were murdered just as surely as the four Tookie killed!

I firmly believe that Tookie must be held accountable for these lives lost, as well as the ones we KNOW he destroyed. Sure, he had a "change of heart" while on Death Row, and used his time there to speak out against what he had done and what the Crips are still doing today. He wrote books and became a "born-again" activist AGAINST gang activity. But the damage was done! And the jury has handed down a conviction and a sentence of death. While we may admire the fact that he now has the courage to speak out strongly against gang-related activity, we must not trivialize the jury's duty and decision by setting it aside. I believe the sentence being carried out as it was handed down will send a far more powerful message to young people contemplating joining the ranks of the criminally minded than sparing the life of a former comrade.

Talk is cheap. Let's have some action.

Rest in Peace, Tookie.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Please don't be offended by my wishing everyone Merry Christmas. I welcome everyone to wish me a "Happy" or "Merry" Whatever-Their-Holiday-Is! I believe there is too much talk about offending others. Have we as a nation really become that incredibly intolerant and thin-skinned? Gee, I hope not.

C'mon we are supposed to be the nation where "freedom" is equated with "tolerance". We are losing sight of this in a big way!!!!

It's FINALLY over!

It's over. One down and one to go. I dread holidays. I find them emotionally draining and stressful. I don't suffer from "holiday" depression, but I don't enjoy all of the forced "good cheer" and I don't look forward to all of the "traditional" activities--I find it all exhausting and I am always ready for it to go away for another year.

I have a dysfunctional family, anyway. My husband, who is a recovering addict (clean for almost 8 months), and I live with his parents--who at one time were addicts themselves (clean for a few years, now). And we were expecting my sister-in-law and her husband for Thanksgiving dinner. They are not former addicts. She is an alcoholic and they are both speed freaks. And they have an 11-year-old son. They didn't make it in time for the big dinner at noon (Are we surprised?), and when they did come late that evening in separate vehicles, around 8 pm, they had some kind of altercation and S-I-L's husband left. The next day, sister-in-law's old friend from high school (another abuser, cocaine) and within an hour of her leaving, my S-I-L also announced that she was going "home". Her son was invited to stay the weekend, and they would meet halfway on Sunday, so he could be back for school on Monday.

Now, it's not his fault he has turned out the way he has....and he didn't ask to have ADHD. But I believe my mother-in-law overcompensates for his less than ideal living conditions by NEVER making any demands on him: EVERYTHING (from taking a bath to wearing clohtes to eating) is a negotiation or compromise of some kind, which he has learned to use to full advantage. He has become a world-class brat.

And the hardest part is that I absolutely CANNOT express any of the opinions contained herein, because I must be appropriately beholden to the in-laws with whom I live. So, is it any wonder that I really don't enjoy this time of the year? Can you blame me for looking forward to going back to work, tomorrow?

Maybe by next year, my situation will be such that my husband's recovery will still be on track and he and I will have been able to get back into a place of our own. Then if I get stressed-out and exhausted, I can just leave....

Thoughts on Iraq

In the beginning, there were WMD's. And then there were not.

Three more American souls in Iraq left this earth yesterday, on our national day of giving thanks.

First, I want to expand on something I wrote yesterday. I commented that democracy is ".... the most perfect form of government yet developed by humans to maintain an orderly, civilized society." And I stand by that sentiment. It is a fair, representative form of government which does not rely--indeed will not tolerate--either tyranny or claims of royalty. Once we have chosen our leaders, if they fail to meet our needs and expectations, they are "outta there" once their elected term ends.

However, democratic government is not for every culture. We were deceived as a nation when our leaders entered war with Iraq, claiming that they possessed weapons of mass destruction. That "untruth" could almost be forgiven when our goal became one of deposing and capturing Saddam Hussein for his war crimes and crimes against humanity. Mission accomplished. Now, here's where I really begin to have a problem.

I was fine with the first goal, but I felt the government had in mind the second goal all along and should have leveled with the American public from Day 1. Now we are determined to "help" Iraq set up a democratic government, something I don't believe they want or are capable of sustaining. The different factions of their government--the Sunnis, the Shiites, the Kurds, and all the rest--don't get along. They NEVER HAVE! And they aren't going to start "getting along" just because we tell them to! They have been fighting amongst themselves for centuries. That's HUNDREDS of years! They don't WANT to be governed in a fair, democratic way.

Bring our soldiers home. We can't force the Iraqis to embrace what we hold most precious in our government. We risk becoming mired in a conflict we CANNOT WIN, because it has already been in progress for longer than any of us have been ALIVE!

We have been "global playground bullies" long enough. We have urgent issues at home that need to be dealt with. It's time to take care of ourselves. Bring our soldiers HOME.

Thanksgiving, Thank God!

So, where does an athiest direct his expressions of thankfulness on Thanksgiving?

This question has been ricocheting around the inside of my skull today, as I offered my thanks to the Almighty God. I have so very much to be thankful for this year (even though a LOT of bad stuff happened during the year)....and it makes me so angry that there is such a frenzy to remove all references to Him from every facet of our daily lives.

Now, I am no Bible-thumping religious zealot. I don't even go to church. Ever. But I consider myself a Christian and believe in the one true God. I don't however subscribe to the notion that there is ony one "true" religion, despite having been raised that very way! My faith in God is not dependent upon my practicing any certain religion in any certain way, it is a private and personal thing. It is between me and God, Himself.

The current drive to remove "under God" from our pledge of allegiance and "In God We Trust" from our currency, stands to tear an enormous hole in the fabric from which our country was woven. To the athiests I say: Read your American history again. This country was founded by people who came to this continent to escape religious persecution. They didn't want to be forced to practice religion in a certain way. They wanted to be free to profess their faith in any way they chose...and they all had a faith to profess!!

And so, the government founded by these people contained a strong element of faith without religion. This is how it should be. Athiests must not be allowed to dismantle the elements of the most perfect form of government yet developed by humans to maintain an orderly, civilized society. If they are offended by the foundation upon which our government is built--well, the door to the world stands wide open...thank God!

Feeling Fine...

Today, I felt fine. Not depressed, not worried. Slept relatively well (a very rare thing!), so I felt rested. It was a quiet day at work, as it always is just before a major holiday--lots of supervisors out, including one of my two. We will be closed Wed., Thur., and Friday for Thanksgiving, so today and tomorrow are my only days this week to have to work. And Wednesday night, my daughter will get in from college! It's only been a couple of weeks since I have seen her, but that time was only for 2 days. She will be home 4 whole days!

So long for now. Back soon.
Love, Rita

Time Goes By In a Blur

So, has it really been 4 days since I was here last?? Wow. I knew I had been busy, but I told myself I would add something here every day or two. I bought the car I was debating about. I decided that I couldn't live in fear of my past being discovered, and so I am moving on....

My *new-to-me* car is a black, 2-dr. 1999 Pontiac Sunfire. Maybe I'll post a photo tomorrow. I knew my daughter would be a little jealous of it. Her car overheats if it drives too long, and she really wants another, but right now, my husband and I are struggling just to get to work every day. So, she is going to have to make do with the car she has while she is in college.

And living with my in-laws is the pits... I guess I hadn't mentioned that before, but it really is. (Refer to the previous post for some details of how this came about.) I hate their vacuum cleaner--it weighs a good metric ton, I hate their dogs, I hate their pantry and utility room (major clutter and disarray), and I hate the closet space we have access to. It is really tiny and hard to get clothes in and out of, because of a decorative shelving unit next to it. I sleep on a saggy sleeper sofabed, shored up with folded comforters under the mattress.


But, they deserve much credit for their patience and generosity--they not only have given us a place to live until we get back on our feet, but they also often let us use one of their vehicles so that we could both get to our jobs. There was no way, otherwise: Hubby's job started at 3:30 a.m. and he worked until 10:00 a.m., but my job started at 8:00 a.m. and ends at 4:00 p.m.

This arrangement was only supposed to be for a couple of weeks. Did I mention that time goes by in a blur? We are rounding the corner on six months now. And, did I mention that time goes by in a blur?

So, I leave you now with this thought.
Don't blink because you'll miss something....
Love, Rita

And Your Past Will Come Back to Haunt You...

Or so I've always heard. And today, that phrase kept ricocheting around inside my skull. After hitting rock bottom in my private life, and slo-o-o-wly beginning to work myself out of the pit, I find myself gripped by severe anxiety. Will my past come back to haunt me???? Am I getting in over my head financially??

Without going into a bunch of detail, here is why I am worried. In April of this year, I had a near-miss with law enforcement, due to the actions of my significant other. He was convicted of a felony, I was arrested on misdemeanor charges that were never filed with the District Attorney. I was able to keep my job--working as a secretary for a state agency, dealing with the public daily., but every day I wonder if today is going to be the day that my employers find out what has happened. So every day has at least some teeth-grinding. Now, my hubby is working and we need another car. So, I applied for and got an auto loan--through the credit union where I work. So now, if they do find out, I not only will lose my job; I will also become delinquent in my payments, and I will lose the car. AAAUUUUGGGHHH!

Okay, deep breaths. Deeep Breaths. Breathe in, breathe out. There. That's better....

And so ends another day.
Love, Rita

Tragic, but Wonderful

Hi! What a tragic, and yet wonderful, weekend we had. My husband and I travelled across the state to where our daughter attends college to take her to a rock concert that she has just been dying to see. 3 Doors Down--what an awesome band! One of the few contemporary bands I own CD's by! (I also own 3 Green Day CD's but we will have to analyze that at another time...) Anyway, the concert was cancelled--the drummer's wife went into premature labor and he flew home to be present when his son was born. Admirable, but a real bummer for those of us who had tickets to hear this band perform. What a tragedy.

So, we spent the weekend with her anyway. Took her to a veterans' memorial museum and out to eat, then to a movie. Saw "Jarheads". (What a strange movie. Very sad ending.) And we had a really good time with her. So it turned out to be a wonderful weekend, after all, just not what we had expected.

Today was SO peaceful. Neither of my supervisors (I have two) made any unexpected requests of me, so I actually got a lot of work done! It's so great, being able to set my own priorities for each day, and then actually accomplishing all I set out to do! AND I get to listen to my favorite music (at a very low volume, of course), since I don't share space with any of my coworkers. At the risk of sounding like a "nerd", I love my job!

Does anybody use the word "nerd" anymore?

Well, away I go.
Love, Rita

HELLO! I'm new here.

Welcome to my world! I wish you were here, but since you aren't I will give you my take on things as I see them. You may smile, you may cry, you may get angry. It's all okay. And if you don't like what you see, then leave. It won't hurt my feelings at all. (I only want you to be here if you WANT to be here.

The first item on my agenda is Hurricane Rita. Living in one of the areas affected heavily by this storm, I want to say how neglected I feel. The national media grossly underreported how much devastation this storm wreaked. Cameron Parish was leveled. All of it. Three schools have reopened, that's it. So they are serving students who may, in fact, still be homeless! But you NEVER hear anything about it on the news anymore. New Orleans seems to be the only place still affected by storm damage. (Sorry, Mississippi, you're out of luck, too, it seems.)

Okay, enough of that for now. See you soon!
Love, Rita